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The HIGHER SELF SYSTEM of SELF-BALANCING.
Example of a Balance Disaster.
Too much, too soon ??
INDEX
Introduction.
Every individual has choice.
Some have more choice than others depending upon how many energy blocks they have running their behavior and attitudes, and, depending upon the strength of their imprinting, together with the strength of their Basic Personality and their Personal Spirit. In other words, this is not a simple equation.
A person may have many opportunities and continue to fail.
If they gain flexibility at some point and can avoid the failure patterns, they will be able to proceed. Energy blocks are a major contributor to degraded life quality but not the only factor. This is an example of one of the few and the most dramatic balancing therapy failures that I have seen in over 13 years. No therapy is perfect nor for everyone. Balancing Therapy never leaves any individual worse off than when they began; something most other therapies cannot declare. But resistance from a stubborn Basic Personality and from an undisciplined Ego (personal desires) and SuperEgo (social norms) can sacrifice gains made by the release of energy blocks and build a new set of blocks to maintain the old lifestyle replete with errors.
We are the sum of our capabilities and their utilization.
The way those capabilities develop into abilities begins with our heredity, expands through our conception and through our gestation, is transformed by our birth, redirected by our early experiences, built upon by our education, and refined by our interactions with others. Typically, the earlier influences are assumed to be unchangeable and we spend the rest of our lives trying to make the best of their influence through denial, repression, adaptation, expression, and sometimes, through growth. All factors can be reframed into a new reality and a new beginning. Some require more effort and time than others. Few things improve without a focus and effort towards a positive direction.
What benefits were obvious from the release of energy blocks here?
I shall refer to the client described here by the fictitious name of Katherine.
Intensely negative feelings were expressed towards a cousin and nephew that lived an hour's travel time away, when I met her. She had not communicated with them for more than a decade and not wished to for 30 years. After releasing many blocks, the cousin stayed overnight in the bedroom of Katherine's daughter, away at the time, while in the midst of taking a session herself. Katherine preferred to stay in her daughter's room when the daughter was away but after the cousin left she remarked for 3 days that she could not go into the room because of the negative energies left by the cousin. I tested the room myself and found no such energies. They were being projected by Katherine into the room and then picked up by her. Over the following 10 weeks, Katherine and her cousin and nephew became more and more close until they were acting like the best of friends.
Intense and constant conflict demonstrated by continual expression of anger, intolerance, and statements of disrespect had been the norm between Katherine's business partner and former live-in spouse even though he had been thrown out 2 years previously and been in at least 2 other intimate relationships in the interim. With the release of blocks, she began to let go of him emotionally, to better understand him, and to spend less time emotionally abusing him and more time encouraging him. She lost her motherliness co-dependence on him. He found this loss of his surrogate mother difficult to understand but very slowly lessened in co-dependency.
Intense frustration from imposed guilt feelings from her mother had resulted in Katherine feeling anger and fear at the expectation of her mother's often daily phone call. She visited her mother as seldom as possible, although less than an hour's drive away, and felt great emotional strain when visiting. Her late-teens daughter had remarked to Katherine that she did not understand her mother's dramatic change of personality when they visited her grandparents.
As Katherine released more and more of her blocks she came to realize that the actions of her mother were also often likely the result of energy blocked behavior and gained empathy for her. Her fear and anxiety reduced and she became more assertive and tolerant with her mother. Seven months after I began working with Katherine, her mother and step-father were visiting for full days on a frequent basis. Before, any visit between the two would seldom have lasted more than 3 hours and would have been tied to a special occasion.
Intense caution and a feeling of superiority were originally expressed by Katherine for the second wife of her second husband whom she had become associated with in the past through her Oral Character behaviors. When the second wife and one of her teenage sons came to visit, I suggested an emergency session for each as the son had been suicidal of late and the mother was frantic although it was well concealed. Katherine's reaction was so powerfully negative, another example of her strong projective quality, that it was necessary to treat her with massive amounts of Bach Remedies to prevent the building of a number of High Intensity blocks. As both Katherine and the two released more blocks, the influence felt by Katherine was reduced.
Love expressed by functional attention had been the pattern between Katherine and the pets she had come to care for over the previous 14 years. When I first met her, she had an old guinea pig that spent his days in a cage repeatedly allowed to accumulate dung until there was nothing else to stand or sit on. Sometimes his food or water would run out for a day or more. Much the same was the experience for 2 cats, both of which were always chronically ill, their litter box so filthy the ammonia that had collected at the bottom of one box burned their feet. The remainder of the time, the two litter boxes were not regularly cleaned, the food and water were frequently allowed to run out, and all 3 animals were kept locked in a cold and dark laundry room.
In typical Oral Character pattern, all were being cared for on behalf of the daughter who had wanted them but then was never held responsible to look after them. It was a case of duty and expected recognition, not love. All were starved for affection and so would demonstrate great response for any attention given and be greedy for any received. This changed some over a period of 7 months, particularly after the rabbit died and some remorse was briefly shown as an awareness of the unnecessary crudeness of life he had been forced to endure.
This same inability to express feeling and show compassion existed towards the 2 dogs which she kept. One had been bought by her former companion and the other had been "saved" by Katherine from being disposed of for chronic over-aggressive behavior. The former companion was not responsible enough to take his dog with him when he was kicked out, so she had retained her to accompany her own dog even though each barely tolerated the other. In the 7 months that I saw the pets almost daily, neither were ever healthy.
Illness and weakness encourage and maintain co-dependency.
The dogs were allowed to become so ill in the spring that had a humane society worker seen them, it would not have been a surprise to see them taken off to a shelter. They were typically filthy, kept starved for affection, and not encouraged to improve their selfish behaviors. The person who would be god requires subjects. The savior requires a victim.
Through the use of Bach Remedies, the behavior of both dogs became less aggressive and less anxious. The dogs were utilitarian as security devices to safeguard the house, often at the expense of the neighbour's peace. They provided a daily acknowledgement of co-dependency to Katherine when they mauled her for their daily meal when she arrived home.
The destructiveness of her lifestyle with its focus on the material and on social acceptance through the respect gained of having possessions, title, and business role was evident by the abuse so easily maintained for so long with the pets and so evident in the failure of all previous relationships. All had been acquired though the influence of 50 years of robotic slavery to Oral Character blocks.
Releasing her blocks made change possible.
But the changes required for freedom would be so extensive that a gradual approach would be too continually grievous a challenge and a full swing to a new, healthier lifestyle that would release her creative potential and bring contentment would likely precipitate a nervous breakdown. Much skill-building and awareness development would be required for a smooth transition. These would take time and effort, immediately at odds with the old lifestyle.
Balancing provides opportunity; it does not make your choices.
It is erroneous to believe that by simply removing the ruts in the road, the trip will be easy. With no map, many forks in the road, unsteadiness of footing in wet weather, wild animals, and swollen rivers --- there are still challenges to be met. Many people have been educated to expect the magic bullet of a prescription drug, a university degree, a marriage, a car, or some other symbol as unlocking the door to a pleasing life. The reality is that the life we experience will be determined by the choices we make with the resources we have to respond to the opportunities and challenges which are presented to us and which we bring to ourselves.
A clear and accurate perception is required for an optimal solution.
Self-awareness, flexibility, and assertiveness are required for proactive responses that enable such solutions to become part of our reality. There are no shortcuts and the bigger the potential, the bigger the risk, and the effort required.
An example can encourage awareness.
If one is aware of the worst that can happen and understand why it happened, one can look for the pitfalls, prepare for them, guard against them, avoid them, and succeed. Learning directly everything from one's own experience is very painful, very slow, and very wasteful --- when there is an example or two which is relevant. Constructive examples must be something real which one may identify with and not simply a theoretical rationalization of what has been imagined as possible or meaningful. Composites of real experiences are only constructive when they demonstrate a small number of non-conflicting factors. Beyond that, they can become too complex and imaginative to afford real benefit. A single case example is reviewed here.
Present, as an indicator of the Future.
Katherine intended to progress spiritually quickly by getting rid of all her energy blocks in as short a time as possible. Katherine was extremely fortunate in that she had relatively few and the time intervals between sessions were modest to small. She began. Problems arose. She has a number of High Intensity Energy Blocks. As she was challenged by each block, her Personal Spirit weakened while her humbled Ego and SuperEgo reacted with what appeared to be pride --- but was revealed later to be masked vengeance. As the sessions proceeded, her weakening Spirit could not maintain confidence in Higher Self Guidance against the interference of Ego and SuperEgo. Finally, the Spirit found itself imprisoned, Guidance not followed, timely sessions missed, new blocks began to build. The Spirit smothered, it prepared to leave.
A Walk-In rejuvenated her Personal Spirit and another opportunity for advancement loomed. But, neither Ego nor SuperEgo had learned from their easy rescue. In a few days they were smothering the new spirit and rejecting Guidance, rejecting development of critical coping skills, rejecting constructive lifestyle change, and playing the Oral Character game once again. A reactivation of deceptive and manipulative communication prompted assertive requests from the therapist.
First, is the Guidance being relayed valued by Katherine, as she had, for some time, increasingly implied and insinuated that the costs involved in formal sessions be reduced to free on the basis of illusive and undefined benefits believed to be accruing to the therapist? Discussion was sought on 3 occasions and vehemently denied, strongly denied, and then endured rather than participated in. The therapist wanted to clear any misunderstanding raised by all of the insinuations; Katherine is angered to the point of rage that such should even be brought up or considered. As no defence or clarification is provided, Katherine's actions suggest that all of the perceived insinuations are true.
Secondly, was the question of whether the feedback of further Guidance was wanted if receiving such was going to result in complaints, excuses, and aside criticism. This was an extension of the earlier question and on the failure to resolve anything there, the result was predictably negative here. Katherine strongly declined the receipt of further Guidance at least twice. Such feedback, often volunteered, was now withdrawn. Katherine ignored payment for the last 5 mini-sessions she and her daughter have received. A person who receives Spiritual Guidance must be careful not to force it on others regardless of the potential for good indicated.
Refusal of Katherine to communicate on an honest, straightforward, and open level from this point on leaves the following interpretation, unfortunately, open to conjecture, and is made on the basis of her background and the known realities.
First, the therapist immediately was Guided to restrict his diet, which in turn restricted his exposure to Katherine. This drastic change of diet had occurred twice previously for the therapist and was constructive in the past in saving his life twice, so nothing beyond that was expected by him here and this direction was communicated to Katherine.
Secondly, the therapist became inordinately busy with heavy requirements for multiple and huge session preparations and other work and this limited also his exposure to Katherine who was made aware of these developments.
Subsequently, Katherine became increasingly hostile to her tenant, the therapist, as if assuming chosen avoidance on the part of the therapist, and, appeared to hang onto and daily build the rage she reacted with earlier. Soon she began spreading half-truths and lies to her friends, associates, and relatives --- some of whom had become clients also.
While all shared a high degree of non-assertive passivity, many had a history of strong Oral Character influence as well. Convinced by the confident attitude of the high degree of Self-Projection evidenced by Katherine, all eventually believed whatever the gossip became, refused opportunities to request feedback, postponed and then cancelled sessions with the therapist.
The Charismatic Liar.
A Half-Lie example is as follows:
Originally, the therapist had asked Katherine if she knew of someone in her area who would be willing to rent a room as he wished to move to the area. She offered that she had been considering renting a room and 3-pc washroom with shared kitchen facilities in her house. He noted that he could only pay $350.00 per month and also needed storage space for the many references he kept. She offered that the reference materials could be stored at her place of business and that she would accept the $350.00 rent. She had shortly before received guidance from a spiritual counsellor that she had been going to for several years that an opportunity for her growth would arise about this time and that it would be her choice to take it or not. To that end, she assisted the therapist in moving his things to her house and business.
In less than 2 months, the therapist, in following his Spiritual Guidance, offered to raise the amount of rent he paid to $1000.00 per month, well above the market rate. The Guidance was making allowance, as was later revealed, for Katherine to receive an added financial benefit from her business to equalize a little the disproportionate amount of personal use expenditures which had been allowed her partner, for perhaps as much as more than $20,000, over the former years. In addition, the income of the therapist became sufficient to support the expenditure largely because he provided almost constant Balancing sessions to Katherine, her partner, various employees of the company and to a number of her relatives and friends. The increased payment continued for 5 months past the time the therapist submitted a 60-day notice of leaving.
Difficulties began when the therapist submitted his termination notice, as Guided, which coincided with Katherine's expression of rage at the request, on 3 occasions by the therapist, to clarify some obvious communication problems regarding the therapy sessions, provision of Guidance, and the payment for same. At this point, Katherine responded at least twice that she did not want to be given any further Spiritual Guidance. She also requested written estimates for future proposed sessions.
Several large sessions were being planned and within 24 hours, the estimates were provided to her. There was no response to the estimates over the next 3 weeks in spite of written and verbal requests. There was no request for Spiritual Guidance, often provided for free to her in the past for many small and immediate matters, a process which was not expected to change by the therapist, past the time the therapist vacated the room and storage spaces.
Projected feelings and their attendant lack of assertive, open, and truthful communication --- by Katherine had gradually separated Katherine from following Guidance and completing her sessions and doing skill preparation work increasingly over the previous several months. New projections were now allowed to form and amplify to fuel ever increasing demonstrations of rage and vengeance in the form of Half-Lies, or worse.
After the expressions of rage near the notice of termination time, the therapist had requested, again by Spiritual Guidance, that the rent for the last month be reduced to $800.00 Katherine had angrily responded that he could pay whatever he wished. As she then proceeded to sabotage his sessions and his income, it is little wonder that at the beginning of the last month of his tenancy his Guidance instructed him to take her at her word and pay her $50 for the last month while offering about $800 worth of free sessions to clients she was in the process of sabotaging.
This is where reality and charismatic truth fly apart.
Katherine made it well known, in the least, that the therapist had now turned money hungry and was insulting her by paying her only $50 in rent for his last month. In reality, she had opened the door with her earlier statement for him to pay nothing. In reality, she had requested $350 per month rent and never requested a change in that for the 8 months that he was to stay there. Including his increased payment of $1000 per month for 5 of those months and the $50 for the final month, the average monthly payment would come to $718.75, more than twice what she had requested.
The reality is that she had received more than fair rent for the full term. What she told others was that she had only received $50. Due to her charisma and the co-dependent relationships she had long fostered with all of the clients involved, they chose to believe her, against the reality of their own exposure to the therapist, and, against opportunities which were presented to them to obtain clarification. One can only conjecture as to the degree of threat of rejection that she included in her comments inciting them to avoid all contact with the therapist. Of course, by doing so, she influenced them to cut themselves off from any reality checking only possible with feedback from the therapist.
The package was complete.
Passive individuals needing acceptance and fearing exclusion by a highly projective personality bought their salvation by surrendering their reasoning ability, perceptiveness, and choice ... to the one who would be queen. Now you now how Adolf Hitler, and many others, incited the masses. And who is doing it in your family, community, or workplace?
Intensity of conflict determined by interaction.
The degree of Katherine's rage continued to escalate and broaden until the therapist could permanently remove himself from their common ground by changing his tenancy. The means taken and their adult temper tantrum style of extreme will not be noted her. It is enough to mention that actions were taken by Katherine in an attempt to allay her feelings of Guilt over the real injustices she had perpetrated, and, Paranoia of strong characters, such as one who has positive self-esteem. The result, an extended adult temper tantrum --- for not getting what she wanted and could not assertively ask for because of its childish irresponsibility (I want all the benefits with none of the costs and efforts) guarantees loss for her and potentially for her target. Understanding the pattern here allows one to cope with it and withdraw from it.
To effectively cope with an adult temper tantrum projected onto an innocent contact, one must take a spiritual perspective. To have such, one should have previously released their energy blocks, protected their Personal Spirit from external negative influences, developed positive coping skills including humility, reverence, no-emotion, compassion, empathy, and self-assertiveness. Knowing reality and not being co-dependent, the Spiritually-Guided target can now remain centered in spite of the mounting onslaught, and not participate destructively in the conflict. Actions and attitudes taken can include these:
- Remain calm by concentrating on reflecting on what is happening;
- Maintain centeredness by constantly accessing Spiritual Guidance for direction;
- Recognize that the protagonist is out-of-control and rationalization is useless;
- Communicate assertively by consistently stating your rights when abused;
- Maintain a distance as much as possible until and unless the protagonist acknowledges their responsibility, changes their behavior, and requests forgiveness;
- Offer opportunities to those victimized by the gossip for feedback;
- Appreciate and grow the positives around you;
- Continue to maintain your own health;
- Without change, depart.
Once this out-of-control pattern has begun, there are few alternatives besides allowing yourself to become a victim and give greater confidence to the persecutor, or, remain a winner by refusing to be drawn into destructive behaviors and negative attitudes. Winners concentrate on living life. Losers concentrate on delaying living.
Frequent responses to unjust accusations, incorrect projections, and other obvious abuses include anger expressed through cursing and swearing, shouting, destroying, hitting, denial, and counter accusations which are also magnified and as irrelevant as those of the accuser. In the mind of the original accuser, such behavior from their target can now serve to internally justify their earlier actions and attitudes. Since the accused is acting out in equally destructive manners, they must have deserved the unfair treatment that began the cycle. Two wrongs are felt to emotionally make a right. So now, this perpetrator feels vindicated in their error and they have succeeded in driving a deep wedge of distrust and unlove between themselves and their target.
Why does constructive coping make the perpetrator more intense?
When a child takes a temper tantrum, it is expressing anger at not getting what it wants, at having to change or respond to changes, or at having to take responsibility for what it does not want to. The immaturity of the child wants to receive everything with the least of effort and with no delays, as the infant placed on the breast when it cries from hunger. In a temper tantrum, the child yells, screams, flails about, and is generally disruptive --- until, it either gets what it wants, is disciplined, or becomes too tired to continue.
If it gets what it wants, it is reinforced to have more tantrums whenever it wants to avoid responsibility, effort, or delay. What the adult in tantrum wants is to be alleviated from accepting the true responsibility and guilt of their actions. They want to effect abuse and get away with it. If they are dramatic enough, the pattern suggests they will win this deception.
The coping adversary does not provide an easy out for the guilty adult.
By affirming reality, they challenge the highly projective person to take a reality check --- and that requires humility, honesty, and an ability to grow --- factors weak with highly projective persons and made weaker when reinforced by Oral Character patterns, and a deep Paranoiac attitude. So, in predictable tantrum style, the perpetrator escalates their aggression in hopes of forcing the destructive involvement of their target.
While they may take immediate pleasure in the success of their deceptions and manipulations of other people and in their destructive interference in the life of their target, a lack of justification from the target ramps up the internalized guilt feelings. The person becomes increasingly desperate in their attempt to deny and hide these guilt feelings if their target refuses to play the game of you-hit-me so I'll-hit-you-back. Refusing to play the game and remain in reality is constructive coping.
Resolution of such adult temper tantrums is seldom encouraged by the structures of highly structured societies or by the ethic of spiritual awareness. Disciplining the adult would often be a case of taking them to court for libel and defamation of character together with destruction of property, possible tenancy irregularities, assault, and an endless variety of other possibilities. In so-called democratic states like Canada and the USA, bureaucracies and standard of living conflict with the timely and low cost resolution of such incidents.
Commonplace in occurrence but not resolution, they seem to have become.
Civil suits are costly and lengthy to engage in and are so disruptive of continuing or maintaining a balanced and constructive lifestyle and occupation that the perpetrator is most often allowed to get away with their misdeed and thus encouraged to enact it on their next target. A lack of understanding of the dynamics and factors leading to such incidents only encourages them to continue --- to the disadvantage of all of the community. Will you be the next target, for some imagined slight, or for the emotionally immature abuse of another Katherine or Ken?
This true example demonstrates a dynamic of how a person who released her energy blocks having to do with Oral Character development, and vengeance, chose, by remaining in a negative environment and by not developing constructive coping skills --- to deny her true potential and fall back on her paranoiac imprinting to rebuild a new stack of energy blocks, and, delay or prevent her obtaining her own Spiritual Guidance cleanly ... as well as prevent others from progressing to a more balanced life. At the same time, unless opposed, she strengthens both her degree of Projectiveness and her anti-spiritual imprinting of Guilt. Hardly a good example for one's children to follow.
Past, as key to the Present
The intensity of the expressed vengeance has likely arisen from the Induced Paranoia of Katherine's infancy experiences. Post-Hypnotic Guilt attitudes have likely been imprinted and block supported by her childhood training, in northwest Germany during the late 1940's, and now act to associate a negative perspective of God with Higher Self Guidance, and, ultimately with the therapist. The combination of the above and their intensities have further been extended by the Evil nature of her native community culture and heritage.
The present ultimate challenge is rightly one of a battle between choosing a spiritually positive reality, which will demand sacrifices of material and power factors, and, the older and decades reinforced practices of Distrustfulness
and Expectation, supported by the earlier syndromes. Making such a transition quickly, for any person, would be catastrophic and likely require a nervous breakdown to shock them out of their old fantasies into what for them would be a new reality. Katherine already experienced a Walk-In but that was a total loss for her inability to manage her Identity factors quickly weakened and dominated it.
Despite inner desires to proceed, these were continually thwarted by a lack of positive coping skills and a lifestyle which did not encourage the reframing of old patterns, even once the energy blocks originally present had been removed. Attempting to make this transition simply had this client force new block developments upon herself. And since the old patterns, when triggered, were so intense, there is a high likelihood that whomever is nearest will be targeted and will be encouraged to build more blocks themselves unless they suitably protect themselves, and, withdraw from the person.
The potential for further assistance at this point is nil.
The therapist's withdrawal will likely trigger other negative reactions. Any constructive interaction is hopeless for Katherine's high degree of Projective Perception prevents her from showing the tolerance and openness to invite and benefit from the feedback from others. Cut off from this and other reality checks, the fantasy world will prevail. Any further steps in growth will likely be made, often under great personal duress, by the individual alone.
The past pattern, repeated many times, has been for Katherine to attract weak-spirited men to her which she eventually has used her Oral Character to both build their co-dependency and encourage them to feel rejected. Unable to express true emotional depth due to Induced Paranoia and Imprinted Guilt, her lack of sensitivity and empathy has encouraged feelings of abandonment in her victims. Adding all of these influences together, her past close male relationships have been a resounding string of disasters.
One husband committed suicide when his business failed. A second left her and committed suicide with his second wife. A third had affairs which became so undeniably obvious that she threw him out when the daughter she agonized about bringing into life was aged two. He has never run a successful company since despite the benefit of many opportunities. A further husband relationship lingered for 14 years with that man having affairs and sexual indiscretions from the 3rd year.
Her sense of insensitivity was so high and her projection so strong that she allowed the infidelities to continue for over a decade, in denial. He was only caught when the signs were so obvious that friends were aware for years previously. A successful salesman initially, her influence contributed to energy blocks of passivity which left him impotent in his professional life for the past 3 years, beginning a year before he, also, was thrown out.
What has been her pattern?
Weakness is attracted and then preyed upon with deception and manipulation so as to build a co-dependency. Through a process of Hidden Expectations, often a part of interactions with Oral Characters and persons who use Projection Perception --- the men allowed themselves to gradually surrender their self-esteem for the fantasy of their need fulfillment.
Having to face the reality that such needs would never be fulfilled, they became depressed and despairing. The immasculated men either ended their lives physically, or, feeling emotionally dead ... sought rejuvenation in other relationships, and/or, perpetrated a death wish of hopelessness, despair and lack of self-esteem by ruining their health and reacting against chronic depression through denial and the addictive thrill of consumerism, travel, drugs and anything else likely to bring an artificial high.
Each of the men she chose were weak and needy, like her father.
Her father ultimately suffered the abuse of a state who sent him to war, where, like many others, he suffered many traumas which left him with energy-block based depression and abusive behaviors. Abusive behavior has always been passed on to those less powerful than oneself. Each of Katherine's relationship partners allowed themselves to be abused by her into a state of greater weakness.
Each side played their games of selfish deception and manipulation in expectation of emotional gain. Over much of her adult life, relationships with women were avoided in an unconscious block induced expectation that they would try and do to her what she did to others. Her attraction to any other woman seemed to arise from the standpoint of how she could improve her skills of deception and manipulation through presentation: Looking and Playing the part.
Building Loss on top of Loss.
Why maintain a destructive relationship?
This would be the question to any more healthy individual looking on to this situation. Why would the protagonist try to prevent their target from leaving, from escaping? After all, is that not what all the anger and abuse are about --- trying to make the other person leave, pushing them away. While that is obvious, another factor in the equation is one of abandonment. The client had carried energy blocks connected with abandonment for all of her life. Her own insensitiveness had encouraged any male close to her previously to go elsewhere for emotional sharing and support, and trust. These eventual relationship breakdowns had encouraged more abandonment blocks forcing her to become more desperate in a struggle to throw out and yet not be abandoned.
The equation is one of internal conflict resulting in external confusion.
Katherine imagines wrongs, such as hearing the truth about her destructive communication patterns as being "vicious". If the truth is vicious, it is because one is living a fantasy and cannot face reality. This of course, is true of persons who are highly Self-Projective.
The desire to mete out rage against the latest target, as an extension of all those previous failures, is an attempt to have the would be victim wither and support the fantasy with fake and gushing admiration --- a sort of sadomasochistic rewarding of the torturer so she will stop. But that doesn't work here. The target does not wither and does not twist reality into a lie to satisfy her. So, the torture must continue in expectation that sooner or later, like all earlier victims, the current target will succumb.
What happens when an abusive person meets a healthy one?
The abusive person loses, always. Why, because the healthy person refuses to play the abuse game. And since you can't abuse someone who leaves and since you can't twist someone into an emotional slave if they assert their independence, you do your best to make them stay by changing the circumstances. Katherine earlier refused to have her former common law spouse leave symbolically after throwing him out and barring him from entering the house --- by keeping many of his things in the house and paying him for them. To anyone without abandonment and vengeance blocks this would appear insane ... but it is just energy blocks wasting one's energies, focus, and resources. The healthy person leaves in spite of the roadblocks erected to contain him. Now the abusive person must face the abandonment she has forced to occur.
How does one cope with self-imposed abandonment?
Simply. One makes especial effort to buy the closeness of would-be friends and associates. In our society, it is always easy to surround yourself with people who will admire you if you pleasure them. Entertainment is one of our biggest self-avoidance mechanisms. Invite people for barbecues, pool parties, out for dinner, for a holiday at your estate, laud them, speak nice, look admiringly, walk the walk and look the look.
In the workplace, you simply become a workaholic and perfectionist to increase the reliance of the company and its staff on you. Many will think you are being compassionate or generous or loyal, or demonstrating your material and power success, but you know they are only there to keep you from solitude. Perhaps the bubble will burst some day when the money runs out, or when one gets bored with the entertainment routine of fakery, or, if the company goes under or changes ownership, or when one has tinges of a desire for something with more quality. Perhaps.
Result.
The healthy person moves on. The unhealthy ones have chosen and have been deceived and manipulated into vegetating back into lives of unnecessary desperation in which they are "satisfied" to live in constant distrust, anxiety, fear, over-reactiveness, chronic health problems, lack of job advancement, and recurrent relationship problems ranging from intimacy to salesmanship to teamwork. Loss building on loss. Afraid to take control of one's life. Afraid to fly with the eagles. Content to carry on doing what one has always done and feel sorry for oneself and blame it on God, fate, or someone, or, something else. Not much of a life. But it is a choice.
Future, as Potential --- to be gained or left buried.
What is the potential for this client?
Katherine has a Basic Personality which could be quite creative and a high degree of Projectiveness which could provide her with a charisma which constructively used could benefit many others and turn her creativeness into a practical reality. So far, her creativity has been blocked.
The key word here is "could."
The likelihood, based on past performance and the intensity of the imprinting and the development of new blocks, is unlikely. Only her future experiences and opportunities and choices will demonstrate her ultimate success or failure. She is exceptional in the number of opportunities that have been given to her and the Basic Personality resources she could use constructively.
The caution is that even as humanity could benefit, so also could it suffer. Adolf Hitler had many good intentions for his countrymen, like the first government sponsored universal health care that he made a reality, yet few remember him for that. Initially, Katherine encouraged a number of people to begin releasing their blocks. Now she has used the same influence to discourage them to the detriment of their own health and that of those in their family and those they work with. As Katherine will be given the credit for the positive, so also she will carry with her the credit for the negative. This page could have ended differently if the person had been strong enough in humility and ready for a better life. Perhaps some day she will be.
Katherine should be acknowledged for her intent and capability.
Katherine was able to release more than 50 spontaneously surfacing energy blocks in a period of 6 months. Some of those were high intensity blocks, which are normally difficult to release. Other blocks were prevented from forming during that period. A set of over 60 hidden blocks were also released.
It would be more usual for a client to release over 100 spontaneously presenting blocks over a 2-1/2 to 4 year period with the added benefit of more time to build positive coping skills, change lifestyle, become comfortable with the new freedom and expand one's awareness. Within the block enforced Oral Characters pattern, imprinting, long-term patterns, and Basic Personality of Katherine, she wanted to go as quickly as possible.
Yet speed is here NOT advised unless the skill-building indicated in the Spiritually Guided selection of references is followed and equally enthusiastically participated in. And for Katherine, this proved impossible, and, the major source of her downfall. Such skill-building activities were neither a part of her past imprinting, self-projection personality, or, inability-to-share Oral Character. Nor is it spiritually positive for a facilitator to push a client to do what they are not ready for.
The near presence of the facilitator was imperative in this case for had the facilitator been at a greater distance and been otherwise occupied the options of hidden block release and numerous remedial and preventive sessions would have been lessened. Spiritually Guided facilitators inform the client of the facts and possibilities, and, may remind the person as many as 3 times. More than that is spiritually abusive. If the person does not want to hear, or cannot motivate themselves enough at that point --- they are indicating an unwillingness to proceed for any of many reasons. For Katherine, readiness would have to be a major consideration for her future attempts at personal growth to be more successful.
Very few individuals have an opportunity to progress so far, so fast.
Those who do must either pace themselves with an awareness they may not yet have, push themselves to prepare for success, or, suffer a potential extreme setback after reaching freedom for a few seconds. The glimpse of what could be will hopefully be the catalyst for them to grow from the failure, as we all can, by accepting ourselves as we are and working with that awareness within more realistic timeframes, with growing self-esteem, and with greater self-responsibility. It is not for the therapist to hold the client back. Neither can you warn someone of something they cannot, or will not, identify with.
Katherine knows.
Persons who are either, or a combination of, immature (lacking in self-direction and self-responsibility), energy block restrained, imprinting lazy (easier to do what I have always done), or, ignorant --- are condemned by will or circumstance to remain robots to their past. Persons who have released a number of their energy blocks KNOW where they can go and what they need to do to get there. To rephrase John Paul Sartre, "You are condemned to slavery by a lack of knowing. You are condemned to freedom by knowing." Once you have seen the light, even if you choose to then block it out, YOU, will never again be able to say in your defence, "I did not know better!"
Cybernetics is the word, the age, and the condition.
A robot must simply follow the instructions it has been programmed with whether that programming be the result of the external authority of significant others in our lives in the form of imprinting, whether it be the internal authority of our Unconscious Reptilian brain setting reaction patterns for us in response to unresolved traumatic situations, or, whether it be the personal conscious authority of a stubborn will born of a weakly managed Basic Personality.
With the awareness that comes from personal experiences which reveal choices and freedoms, the robot now has intelligence which can, with motivation, allow the robot to become human. The human, de-sensitized and blinded into being a robot, now has the opportunity to burst through into sensibility and sight --- to regain, as it were, a humanness they may never have known. Once the shackles are broken and the doors are open, only the prisoners, set free, can re-imprison themselves.
Choice IS the terrible risk.
For some, protected and sheltered within the confines of a former prison and not having taken opportunities that were available to prepare for coping with freedom in constructive and enjoyable ways, the innocent may reconvict themselves to the routine, predictable, desperate, controlled lives tuned to the expectations and wants directed by, or perceived to be, of others: prisoner, or, slave? If the remorse for that choice of weakness becomes strong enough in the future, humility may provide the strength of motivation to focus on building one's skills rather than on expecting that life will simply happen as one wishes by one wishing and wanting it to. Choice is no risk when one is in contact and interacting with reality.
The bottom line here is that everyone who has had a Balancing Session always ends up in a better situation than before. They have more choices, more awareness, more freedom. Freedom demands responsibility. Free choice includes the option of going backwards if one is not yet prepared, and has not prepared, for the freedom.
Idealism is our fantasy of rationalization (SuperEgo) pleasuring our Ego (personal desires) with the lie that freedom, in reality, is always getting what we want when we want it. Reality is accepting that other life exists around us, equally has choice, equally may have freedom, and, equally, has the freedom to make choices which may influence us --- as our choices may influence them.
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