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1. What is Humor ?
Humor is what makes YOU laugh.
Laughter is the music for your Heart to dance to.
The FORM of humor you respond to tells a lot about WHO you are.
Humor is a physiological response which Releases energy.
It is a response which fits in that category of actions called "orgasms."
That means, there is a build up of tension in the body followed by a sudden release.
Orgasmic responses include sneezing, coughing, laughing, and sexual climax.
FORMS of Humor.
1. The Humor of Humility, Laughing at oneself.
This is the form of humor in which we acknowledge our failings and mistakes in a self-mentoring, forgiving, acknowledging, and inspiring way. We often share this only with ourselves. Sharing this with others can encourage many forms of misinterpretation. Others may feel that you are minimizing the mistake which THEY consider to be Great. They may Project that you are beating yourself up for making a mistake and may respond with Rescuing gestures, or, abuse, or criticism. Often best to keep to oneself. THIS form can help us become more self-aware and assist us in making changes.
- Why did I do that?
- I sneezed, and fell over.
- I knew it was a good day. My eyes were open.
- My tune is: Home again! Home again!
- I did it yesterday. I did it today. I'm improving!
- The Sun is up and I can see it. A good day ahead!
- I did this odd/silly/crazy ... mistake!
- I was going to run the marathon, but I slept through it.
- Something Good is going to happen to ME!
- I'm working again! I made my lunch!
- I got a phone call! Guess I am not totally forgotten.
- I couldn't stand it! So I laid down.
- I love me, I love my day. Well, I can hope!
- I send lots of job applications.
---- The trouble is. they are always asking for regular hours!
You are using humor to acknowledge and release the anxiety that would otherwise encourage you to think of yourself as a failure, and, become more depressed. It is your own form of time-out.
2. The Humor of Exaggeration.
Fear raised, and dispelled.
When we express something in terms that make it either much smaller, larger, more intense, more distressing, shocking, unexpected, or, otherwise quite different from the real experience of many people, we heighten the awareness, concern, and fears of others. Laughter becomes a way of acknowledging these extremes and releasing the tension which otherwise would be built and held, if, the descriptions were taken to be true.
This humor can demonstrate our ability to empathise, and, our ability to set limits. Persons who are intense in their expressions, or, paranoid may express themselves in this way while fully believing they are describing reality. Laughing at what they have said can be taken by them as you laughing at THEM. When people with CFS-ME are laughed at for sincerely sharing about their illness, they are correctly interpreting an attitude of denial, intolerance, or ignorance.
Apart from the illness and the person themselves, as subjects, other subjects may find greater success, yet, require careful moderation if not to become abusive of others.
- I'm dying, I'm dying! The doctor said: "When?"
- I've been doing a lot of drumming lately. On my knee.
- I used to always prepare gourmet meals. Why!?
- I am taking a long trip today .. to the bathroom.
- I wake up. I plan my day. I go back to sleep.
- I lifted 110 pounds yesterday. A picture of it.
- No big deal. It's only the 2nd half of my life.
- Brain fog? What did you say? WHO are you!
- I'm in recovery .. for the eightieth time.
- Clothing everywhere! But none of it fits!
- I have an appointment tomorrow, don't I?
- I wish I were dead. Pass the ice cream!
- My friend said "What's new?" I said, "I'm here!"
- My parasites should be bigger than I am. They eat more!
3. The Humor of self-abuse.
When we talk about ourselves in apparent sincerity and protest about our ignorance, insensitivity, intolerance, weight, form, accent, or other personal trait ... we are inviting the audience to build tension at the prospect that they will be degraded and included, and then, allowing them to release this tension by our emphasizing that we are the exception, alone. They are the ones who would never do what we have fallen into. We fail to learn, unlike them. We are oversensitive, unlike them.
There is a fine line between whether we are truly believing ourselves to be a victim or are we just "playing" at it. The audience my find humor in this form as an acknowledgement of how they don't want to feel, or, their happiness at not being such a person now, or any longer, as they were. Those who find this form funny are often in denial of the topics. They don't mind if you make a fool of yourself, as long as you don't specifically include them, attach them, and hold them responsible.
When people with CFS-ME are laughed at for their efforts at seeking recovery, it is easier for them to feel rejected, abandoned, and despairing. All of these diminish, for many, their Will to life, contribute, and recover.
- Will this ever end? The doctor says NO!
- I am in a routine. Never up before mid-afternoon.
- I am tired of never going to parties every night.
- My clothing style is becoming archaic.
- I hate my life. Why don't we switch.
- People with CFS just don't have any motivation.
I try, and you don't care. Let's switch.
-------- I won't try, and you care!
4. The Humor of Satire.
When we attack another person, a title or office, a type of business, or other entity for taking a supportive position, or, following a form of behavior odd to us, we are using satire. Often, satire is an irreverent portrayal of those beliefs, values, and practices we actually oppose. The extremes and drama of burlesque and slapstick may be acted out as we "make fun of" the abuses or shortcomings or vices of the issue. The court jester might subtly present the severe complaints of the subjects to their king or queen. There would never be a direct expression of the underlying conflict. To do so would be taken as treason or rebellion and would invite penalty, even death.
The use of irony and of double meanings are key tools of the satirist.
The satirist walks a tightrope of communicating the issue of conflict with words and images which the audience will understand what is intended by the reversed extremes of irony and the double meanings of the words and images. The targeted person(s), if in denial or of great pride, can miss the intended meaning and simply appreciate the storytelling according to the terms used in the direct description. That is, the direct description may reference a smart yet cruel fox as the hero of the story. In the abstracted and projected form understood by many of the audience, the "fox" may be understood to be a semi-secret code for "the king." Both the king and the audience may be laughing, yet for different understandings of the story.
Other FORMS of satire include the use of exaggeration, irony, comparison, analogy. The key difference between satire and other forms is that in satire, the speaker uses projection, riddle, and apparent self-abuse ... to attack someone else. Doctors and medical researchers who are ignorant of the Reality of CFS-ME and the health improvement options relevant may use satire to suggest that these patients somehow defy common sense and are self-centered and stupid. In a similar fashion, members with CFS-ME may use satire to play exaggerated roles of the doctors and researchers and their actions, beliefs, and relevancy.
The intent of most satire is to make a strong statement about something the speaker strongly disagrees with, while seeming to support it within themselves. They fear that if they tell the truth, the audience will reject them. The irony can be that the speaker SEEMS to be talking about themselves, when many people recognize that the speaker is talking about an authority figure, or, the audience.
- Ever notice: There are no CFS-ME hospital wards?
- You'll hear about it when the President gets it!
- A trillion dollar bailout, but none for CFS treatment!
- I was in the war. My health was the casualty!
- I was at the top of my game. I was just too good!
- My friends say, "Live and Dream." Why!?
- I am going to recover. But my doctor won't!
- It isn't a headache dear. It's CFS-ME!
- I'd run the mile, but it would take me 2 years!
- Who here has CFS-ME. I'll bet you all do.
- You know why others get CFS. They just aren't as good as you!
- People with CFS-ME have no style. When did you last see one with a Gucchi bag and an Armani suit?
5. The Humor of intolerance.
Describing other people, races, bands, tribes, religions, government officers or departments, animals, flowers, ethnic groups, genders, or age categories, or combinations of these ... in a manner which is without respect for the reality of their values and practices is to be intolerant. Swearing, attaching names of derision .. which attack the main values of such members encourages, from a point of exclusion, the development of hate.
This Form of humor is most often expressed by persons who are proud.
This pride is often an extension of the personal insecurities of the speaker expressing intolerance. Others of that person's group who share that degree of fear, insecurity, and confusion show their support for the abuse through their laughter. Intolerance, especially when allowed and encouraged by the political or religious authorities, encourages the imprinting and intensification of attitudes which can change grief and frustration into anger and reaction.
Stereotyping, and, intolerance.
There is a significant difference between these.
Stereotyping is the personification of groups according to the beliefs and behaviors expressed, often in a culturally promoted way, by the majority of the members. One might stereotype "Christians" as believing that Jesus Christ was a spiritual teacher who lived in the Middle East and after whose example they pattern themselves. This does not mean that every single adherent has this belief. The intent is to convey that the majority believe this to be true and if speaking to one, you would be best to respect this possible difference to yourself. Intolerance is to seek to minimize the value of persons who can be associated with each other through belief, behavior, accent, language or other targeted characteristic. Intolerance has the validity of gossip. It is based upon a desire to become important at the misfortune of others.
Persons with CFS-ME have a tendency to express intolerance against other forms of the illness apart from the specific symptoms they have. If they have been imprinted to believe that THEIR illness must have unique yet uniform symptom expression if it is to be "physical" rather than "mental", they may regard other versions as adding question to the validity of their own illness and the forms of treatment available. They may use a humor of intolerance in an attempt to discredit other versions of CFS-ME present locally, or, more distant.
Persons without CFS-ME often use other forms of humor if they are to direct it at either the illness or the sufferers. ...
6. The Humor of ignorance.
This is a form of anxiety production in which the humorist states the opposite of what the audience believes it "knows". The audience finds this funny because it is hard to believe that the humorist does not "know" the reality or truth. Sometimes, the difference is that what the humorist is saying IS the truth,and the reality, for a minority, who are not likely to be in the audience. Sometimes, this form can be used to challenge an audience and followed up with details to inform them, or not.
- I saw a person with CFS-ME running yesterday.
--- It must have been their day off.
- Here comes this person huffing & puffing and I said "Where is the fire." She replied, It passes by here an hour ago.
- I said, "Get a life."
---- He said, "That's the trouble, I have one!"
- People with CFS-ME just are not interested in getting better.
-- There was a CFS-ME conference last month and no one with it went.
- You're home all the time with your wife.
How can you NOT be worn out, with all that sex!
- People with CFS-ME are always saying they are tired.
--- Why don't they build their stamina with weight lifting?!
- Jack has CFS-ME. He sure is laid back.
--- He is NEVER on time, for anything!
- It all comes down to motivation.
---- As long as they have it easy, why should they make an effort?
- People with CFS-ME are always on pot or drugs.
--- Why else would they stagger around in a fog all the time?
- I'd like to be like Henry. He must be loaded.
--- He sits at home all day and sleeps long at night.
7. The Humor of ridicule (abuse from others).
This form of anxiety is a defensiveness against the possibility that the spoken or apparent reality just might be true, and if it is, the joker and audience cannot empathize, and don't know a constructive response. Better to joke about it than to take it serious and look like the uninformed fool that one is.
- If I had to live like you, I would kill myself.
- Why don't you see a doctor and get over it?
- You've got burnout. Serves you right for being a snob.
- Get away from me. Don't touch me! (You are contaminated.)
- It is all in your head. You are crazy!
The Form and quantity of HUMOR, IS a BIG Influence, for a person with CFS-ME. It can assist in recovery, increase illness intensity, or challenge one's libido (will to live) by encouraging Denial. If you cannot discern the different major Forms, you will invite Overwhelm. That can have you Avoid ALL forms of humor, including those which can assist you.
If you understand the significance of setting limits and the constructiveness of being aware of Quantity vs personal Capacity, what could be a Negative can become a Positive. Too much of even a good thing at any time can create havoc. Too much is a personal capacity which can vary by the hour, time of day, day, and social and physical environment.
Water and Humor have some common influences:
- None, for too long, and you will die.
- Too much, and you will lose energy, and drown, and die.
- If it is polluted, you will accumulate toxins.
- If it is too hot, the shock can burn you & increase you fears.
- In moderation, temperature and quantity, it will sustain you.
- Water will not make you a better person.
- Healthy water is valuable enough to pay for.
2. Benefits of Humor.
Humor can change our perception and expectation from one of likely catastrophe, failure, and penalty, to one of Alternative, Hope, Recovery. It can take what looks like and feels like a horrifying mistake or an anger producing slander into a moment of sympathy, and reflection. In like fashion, it can take a panic driven protective flight-or-fight readiness and change the physical response into one of release, relaxation, confidence, and the weakness of openness and exposure.
What happens when you laugh?
- Moving: lose muscle control
- Open mouth
- Close eyes
- Breath deeply
- Tense/relax abdomen
- Rosy complexion (cardiovascular dilates)
- Relaxation
- Connection between people (cosmic juice)
- Tear ducts activated
- NO talking
- Blood pressure lowers
- Heart rate goes up, down after.
- increases Heart Rate
- reduces Blood Pressure
- increases Metabolism
- facilitates Elimination
- increase optimism and hope
- reduces physical and emotional tensions
- enhances attention
- encourages joining in
"Comedy allows you distance in a difficult situation.
It allows you to face something directly and move on.
Without it, we would be curled up in a fetal position in a dark room."
Bob Newhart
HOPE is built on Faith and Optimism.
Humor can translate apparent or assumed negatives into possible positives. For the person with CFS-ME, the challenge, is to NOT try and build the positives until they become negatives. The expression of humor requires brain energy to think up, store, and present. Humor requires potentially, large amounts of immediate energy to participate, both in building the anxiety, and in releasing it. A LITTLE humor can bring a smile. Laughter, will bring weakness. Thinking up a joke, can make a person with CFS-ME too weak to present it. It is a fine balance with different thresholds for different people and different for the same person, at different times.
3. Disadvantages of Humor.
LIMITS are a Real concern for those with CFS-ME.
Humor can translate apparent or assumed negatives into possible positives. For the person with CFS-ME, the challenge, is to NOT try and build the positives until they become negatives. The expression of humor requires brain energy to think up, store, and present. Humor requires potentially, large amounts of immediate energy to participate, both in building the anxiety, and in releasing it. A LITTLE humor can bring a smile. Laughter, will bring weakness. Thinking up a joke, can make a person with CFS-ME too weak to present it. It is a fine balance with different thresholds for different people and different for the same person, at different times.
- intense use of Energy
- easy to Misinterpret by abused persons
- encourages Denial
- can facilitate Anger
- uses Time
There's no sunshine in my world!
When you're here and when you're gone.
There's no sunshine anymore, just the rain.
You told me things have to change.
I keep trying, all in vain.
Day and night come and go.
Life goes on, no blame can solve this bane.
I don't know when I'll be back again.
I keep trying to regain.
The life we began in the rain.
Now everything seems to be in vain.
There will come a day again.
I'll be back in the saddle again.
Moon shine won't bring that broken train.
Roaring down the tracks soon again.
Get some sunshine before the rain.
Bring me back a smile that's sane.
People with CFS-ME do not have extra energy, time, self-esteem, or anger to release that will assist their symptoms nor recovery. Misinterpreted communications are one of the greatest energy costs which diminish the efforts of a person with CFS-ME to recover. Attracting denial is a certain way of remaining ill. Caution must be attempted in the balancing of an expression of humor. That threshold is a tightrope between depression, and, over-optimism. Humor can be an expression of Hope when linked with understanding and reality.
4. Letting go of Control.
You do NOT have to have a Reason to Laugh!
The following is a partial synopsis of a videocassette seminar
"Laugh Your Way to Health"
given by Dr. Annette Goodheart, recorded in 1988
Reasons why we Don't laugh:
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Belief Systems:
We must have a Reason ..
What's so funny, why are you laughing .. Challenged to explain .. deadens.)
Laughter is neither reasonable nor rational.
If we are waiting for a reason to laugh, we won't laugh much.
People rarely ask a baby why it is laughing.
As soon as you ask WHY, you stop yourself and others from laughing.
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Myths:
You have tobe happy to laugh.
Am I really happy enough to laugh here?
With all that is happening around us, how can we be happy?
We ARE happy because we laugh.
We feel better afterwards, not before.
We assume laughing people are happy.
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Laughter Starvation:
Sense of Humor = Laughter
Intellectual Process .. no agreement on what makes people laugh or is funny.
Yet, is Universal, it activates every organ system.
Laugh with anyone, even with an animal.
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Won't laugh until Science proves it is Healthy.
When we are sad, we cry.
We have lost touch with what makes us feel better.
Laughter is cathartic/purging/moving/eliminating ---
lack of control, moves you like a laxative, culture is constipated,
..... dreams are the excrement of the mind;
..... feces are the excrement of the body;
..... laughter is the excrement of the soul.
Status Quo locations NOT to laugh include the Main Street of many towns and cities, the waiting room of a doctor's office, ...
Kids are cathartic all the time ... crying, stress, pain, laughter ...
Churches based upon FEAR and GUILT are undermined by laughter.
We put something in babies mouths and jiggle them to stop them/divert them or drug them to deny pain. Pain is a friend. Catharsis handles pain.
Ridicule pushes people apart/divides them/makes you feel worse.
Laughter makes you feel better about yourself, if respected.
6 to 8 hours of meditation can be replaced with 15 min of laughter.
The THYMUS Gland shrinks under stress/negative thoughts ..
When it doesn't work well, the immune system weakens, yet,
it increases in size if the muscles of the face are used.
The Thymus produces beta endorphins
Cortisol from laughter acts as an effective anti-inflammatory for arthritis.
Take the Risk to start Laughing.
5. Adding Light to the Darkness.
Seven Humor Habits for Wellness,
with
Paul Huschilt.
http://www.speakers.ca/huschilt_paul.aspx
http://www.paulhuschilt.com/
paul@paulhuschilt.com
I recommend this presentation.
Paul breaks the topic down into 7 steps.
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Take Time to Relax.
--- Take a deep breath in and out, look to right and left,
------ Tighten and release each shoulder.
---
99% of stressing out depends upon how we look at things.
--- Self Massage: massage shoulders, arms out sideways, big hug.
Exercise to Relax -- The Time to Relax is when you don't have time.
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Simplify your Life.
--- As children we hear "No" 100,000 times.
--- As adults, we often say "No" only 14 times/day.
----- Simon Says exercise ... stand up, Qui, ...
--- Others often compliment us hoping we will feel obligated.
--- Others will pay you to do what you don't want to do .. Employment.
--- Find a new way to do things.
--- Think of it. It's none of your business.
-
Smile and Laugh more.
Book: Lighten Up, by C.W. Metcalf, (physiology of Laughter)
Laughter induces chemicals into the blood.
Learning the Correct way to Laugh.
- Zygomanthis is squeezed. (mouth wide)
- Platisma is pulled down. (lower teeth show)
- Frontalis is flinched. (Eyebrows raised or lowered)
- Tummy/groin is relaxed.
- Dig in with the diaphragm.
- Rock back and forth.
- Cry (releases toxins)
Laugh at things which are not funny for there are too few that are.
Victor Borge:
"The shortest distance between people is Laughter."
Laughter connects us with people, even if we don't like them.
Laughing for 1 minute boosts the immune system for 24 hours.
Anger or sadness for a minute, depresses the immune system 6 hours.
"Anger is like taking a poison pill and hoping someone else will die."
--- Terry Fisher.
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The Galileo Principle.
About 400 years ago most of the world thought the Earth traveled around the Sun. None of us is the centre of the universe. Step back from the center. See how poorly your life is going. Look for different point of view and angles.
Runners racing around a track; one runner falls, most run past, then follow example of lead runner who returns to the fallen runner to offer help. The others return. They all cross the final line together and are all given a gold medal.
--- We can be more relaxed by looking at others and finding out about them.
Carol Burnett: "Humor = tragedy + time."
--
"If you don't learn from the tragedies, you repeat them."
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Do Something Nice.
--- especially for people you don't know.
--- volunteer, smile, compliment, praise.
--- Don't just be a "Giver", also accept from others.
--- Not Receiving prevents others from sharing the Joy of Giving.
--- Don't ever give away/back all that you have been given.
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Reward Yourself.
Write a certificate on your hand to affirm what YOU are good at.
Raise your hands over your head, for a cardio exercise.
Pat self on back as we achieve intermediate goals.
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Dare to be You.
It is illegal to be someone else.
Benefits of Humor:
- You feel warm.
- You let go.
- You breathe deeper.
- T-lymphocytes are released.
- Endorphins are released (like narcotics)
- Laughing for 10 min = Rowing 100 pulls.
- Massages internal organs.
- Norman Cousins found that if he ...
Laughed for 10 minutes, he was free of chronic pain for 30 min.
- You burn 1.3 calories every 15 minutes of laughter.
SUMMARY:
- Express Gratitude for what you have.
- Keep a Balance.
- Being Yourself is Risky yet Powerful.
6. Flushing away Negativity
- Discern the FORMS.
- Choose your Sources.
- Limit YOUR Exposure.
- Expose yourself daily.
- Use to Reframe frustrations.
7. Getting Unstuck
The Humble person finds humor in the activities they have conquered.
You haven't conquered something until you have changed it.
If that change is by force, you have likely overlaid it with fears.
If that change is by reframing, you have changed within first.
Changing your beliefs and attitudes will support changing your actions.
- Gain greater self-awareness from humor.
- Gain greater choice from discernment.
- Exercise your mind and body.
- Join in when solitary.
- Create options.
Humor IS entertainment.
Beyond the duo, party guests, family and in-law gatherings, or, peer group, we can look to the mass media as a resource to assist us in coping with the challenges of our life, including CFS-ME. Mass media includes widely circulated cultural stories and myths (few are humorous excepting limericks), fictional stories and selected biographies, many short films and cartoons, early children's television, a major category of movies, and mistakes and comic strips in newspapers and magazines. What EACH of these tell us is that there are common experiences which many humans have which encourage embarrassment, insecurity, naivete, pride, and, misunderstanding. What each of these venues offers is an alternate way of perceiving the seriousness of the incident and some alternate ways of coping with it.
Not everything deserves the drama of life-and-death survival.
We can often be more open to changes and options if we see or hear of someone else going through the experiences we are too afraid of rejection to speak about, or, too proud to admit that we are making or have made such "mistakes". Fearing to take an action for fear of misunderstandings and for fear of penalties for being honest and open often forces us into defensive protection or denial modes. We don't want to admit our involvement, for FEAR, of the expected consequences. Fear halts us and pushes us into denial and withdrawal. Waiting for the reality to go away or become smothered by other concerns, or be resolved by someone else, is often, self-sabotaging.
Less direct involvement = less responsibility.
We can learn in a more positive environment if we allow someone else to act as a proxy for us, in a story. We see responses which are tragic, structured, and humorous. Their program and outcome reinforce for us what MAY be a positive or destructive scenario for us or others we know. We may respond to it in personal ways which differ from those around us. Does that suggest to us that our inclinations are wrong, funny, or tragic? Do we sense agreement with the audience and either a reinforcement of our intentions, or, a new revelation of yet untried responses?
Drawing the audience into the reality of the story, is a characteristic of moving picture shows. Whether it is a film, movie, stage production, or digital presentation --- the NATURE of the communication imposes a sense of parental authority on us. The story continues to unfold regardless of anything we want to question, add, or find confusing. IT tells us. We MUST listen, or risk a misunderstanding, and confusion. We can talk and comment all we like. The most acknowledgement we will get is a negative from other audience members who have come to "experience" the story. There is no discussion until the story ends.
We witness patterns of communication and response by other people in situations we FEEL we can identify with, or, we feel threatened by, as, new, confusing, violent, or alarming interactions. We are strongly encouraged to remain focused on the story through its duration. Through the musical score and the emotional sounds of the other attendees, we are encouraged to become open and inviting to the potential of reality. To the extent that we have a strong Emotional bias in our Basic Personality, mass media stories are hypnotic. There is a good chance that we will remember, distinctly, striking differences from what we project we would do in the story. What is a norm for us, is gently reinforced within us, and largely unaware to us.
Stories that DO mentor us are those whose story development mirrors one or more incidents from our perceived life history. IF we Feel we have been in those situations, our attention becomes focused. Will "their" outcome be as good or terrible as was ours? If it is as bad, we can feel acknowledged, accepted, and "normal". If it is a more constructive, happier, justified (to us) outcome, we can catalog it in our memory as a new and improved option. It presents us with an alternative to the "reactions" we have been following, should this incident, or one like it, repeat in the future. We CAN do better.
Getting Unstuck is changing from a Reactive behavior response to one that is Responsive. It is the latter which is more relevant. It encourages us to takes into account a great many environmental and personal factors and not look upon our story content in such a structured, intellectualized, authoritarian, conservative view. Perhaps the simple, direct solution IS best. Yet, we can be more assured of not making a mistake if we consider more aspects, not by making the solution more complex, or, simpler.
CHANGE is a function of learning.
Persons who are more adaptive, intellectual, and skilled, than their competitors, often succeed in their endeavors more often. Yet change also has Basic Personality keys. Some personalities will be more sensitive to, and "learn" more from, certain TYPES of movies, theater, or other media. Common, and long-standing TYPES of media include thes:
- Action/War --------- I have frustration and anger
- Adventure ---------- I am willing to take risks
- Comedy/Humor --- Let me express my Emotions
- Crime/Gangster -- I want/need justice
- Drama/Detective - How can I change my Life
- Horror/Surprise -- I want new experiences
- Science Fiction --- I want a Friend
Getting Unstuck means making a fundamental change in attitude and behaviors so that we can have a better Future than our Present. Stories can sometimes help us do that through these following techniques:
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Perspective:
What WAS Reality is GONE!
If you have CFS-ME, your NOW may become so unlike your Past that you begin to wonder if it ever existed! You may even come to wish that you had not been so active and healthy in your Past, for Now, the comparison is so distressing and distorted that at times you wonder if you have entered a hell-on-Earth.
YOU can become the next Phoenix!
If you become aware of ALL the Tools on these pages and use them to your best ability, you have a good potential to rise-from-the-ashes, as the mythical Phoenix bird did. LEARN from the Past. Don't cherish the Past and seek to repeat it. The truth is: If you try to regain and repeat the Past, you may also regain CFS-ME in some form new to you. CHOOSE to RECOVER over choosing to regain a life which is largely gone. This time, YOU will have an opportunity to build and appreciate a life and lifestyle you would not have appreciated, chosen, or experienced the greater benefits of, before you acquired CFS-ME.
The FUNNY thing is that YOU are going to beat it!
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Reframing of Experiences:
This is where you take one or more previous experiences and view them from a NEW perspective.
How we interpret Reality determines how we are likely to respond. If our filters and our sabotaging beliefs impose a negativity on events which have been introduced to us, we will find it easy to respond in fear, defense, or aggression. These responses are often unhealthy and not constructive.
You can use humor, or drama, to turn these experiences around. Wherever there has been a LOSS, there is also, a Potential GAIN. We are often so focused on the negative that we cannot see the Positive. Had I NOT acquired CFS-ME, I would not having learned as much about CFS-ME as I have, and never have written this reference to assist hundreds of thousands of other people. It hasn't been easy! But, I never gave up, and I have been most fortunate to meet great people I respect and have the precious support of my wife, who was only with me for less than 6 months before I acquired CFS-ME. There IS humor in my original belief that I would recover in a few MONTHS!
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Self-Awareness:
Many people learn a lot about their personality strengths and weaknesses through a professional astrology reading. This may include the drawing of and interpretation of a natal chart and is dependent upon your knowing the geographical location of your birth and the near exact time of birth. If you do not have this basic information and cannot get it, skip this option. If you do not want to pay for the services of a professional, you are likely best to skip this option, also.
General determinations of your Sun sign, such as Libra, are about as much help as saying that your hair color is red. There are many facets that potentially influence and define your Basic Personality, astrologically. They represent strengths and weaknesses which you can encourage or restrain, into a balance. They are not traits which you can transmute into what you intellectually think would be better. Astrology is an ART. Interpretation is 60% of the value. Would you use a GPS location system that was 40% WRONG to get you to safety!?
An informative and relevant Personality reading may align you with a few famous persons. You could draft a biographical profile of one or two of them and use them as Role Models, NOT mentors. That means, you could consider their mistakes and weaknesses as examples for you to learn from and not repeat. Similarly, their strengths and successes could provide you with motivational and inspirational examples of what may be possible for you. When you are feeling depressed or discouraged, think of one of your Role Models. Maybe even throw up to your Identity Factors the notion of: "What would he/she do if they were feeling down?"
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Goal Setting:
We have all heard the phrase: Winner's set goals.
What we seldom hear is that those Goals must be continually reassessed for relevancy, or, they can become disincentives. I planned to be financially independent by the age of 40, when most people my then age, were planning for 60. I effectively started at age 20. I was in a new and expanding field. I continually made fast progression through training, performance, and management levels. By the age of 30, I was half way to my FINANCIAL goal.
Plans are based upon predictability. Life is not!
By the age of 32, my career and profession were wiped out by then industry leader's incompetence and greed. Near the same time, I sustained a severe on-the-job low back injury. After recovering from it, my car was totaled by a driver on drugs. When I woke up from my coma, I had a severe whiplash. Eventually, I was medically informed that I would never recover! Employers then provided minimal health insurance and no severance pay. The government provide minimal short-term employment income support.
My marriage was going out the window. My assets were split.
My auto accident lawyer sold out to the opposition to safeguard his career. I sold out a better legal settlement to protect my wife from a nervous breakdown under the highly abusive interrogations of the high cost corporate defence lawyer. My assets hemorrhaged from loss of occupation, retraining, relocations, and injury rehabilitative costs. Plans had to be changed. New goals set.
When one acquires CFS-ME, ANY plans for anything they have had up to that point, have to be reconsidered for relevancy. This may happen Many times, until you become aware of the content in these pages, take action on it, and reach a point of dependable and assured Recovery. Your HUMOR point is that whatever the situation, it could be worse! You could be dead, or worse, you could have given up.
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Addictions and Obsessions:
These are Energy Block mandated attitudes and behaviors as well as Imprinted ones. Some you will be able to find a practitioner and release or modify. Others, you are best to learn to cope with. You can't CHANGE an energy block by thinking about it. Yet, if you don't know what you have, you cannot make allowances for it. That means that you may spend a LOT of time, and precious energy, trying to force yourself into an impossible dream. That WILL give you LESS to work with and deter your recovery. Why make yourself weaker? Find out what you can do, with whom, and do it.
There are many tools and talents you can gain and appreciate from these pages. These will make your Recovery and your stable strength more assured. Humor is about taking yourself less abusively (strictly). If you have some known or apparent energy block behaviors, consider referring to them by some "friendly" name which alerts you to them when they present, or before, and gives you motivation to avoid them. Here are a few examples:
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Auntie Jane: I am so tired and worn out that I can't think.
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Grandma Lou: Let me do that, You can't do anything correct.
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Frankie Ma: I just must do the laundry today, or the world will end!
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Rattlesnake: I want my own way and I'll get angry if I don't get it!
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The Titanic: I am being over-optimistic and haven't taken precautions.
When you are acting like any of these "relatives" you can jokingly, and privately, referred to yourself as being like them, by name.
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Interactions & Communications:
Recovery from or Avoidance of CFS-ME.
Sometimes, humor, or some other Type of story media, can open your mind to a revelation which brings you strength, stability, and peace. Begin a list of movies, books, scriptures, and other media ... that hold significance for YOU. Check with muscle testing or Spiritual Guidance to confirm which can be a benefit to you, in what order and at what time ... even to which chapter, or scene. It may even add a little gentle excitement and hope to your life.
8. A Tool, not an excuse
Humor is used to reinforce beliefs and connect with others.
It is bringing an experience or perception to the awareness of the audience. If the audience relates, it will acknowledge with positive indications. Laughter, clapping, whistles, smiles .. most of all. If only the experience is noted, the audience isn't encouraged to think ahead. Following the odd story to a novel conclusion plants that outcome in the audience. This NEW option now becomes a possible one, though unlikely, for future experiences.
A FEW SAMPLES:
- You know the cafe owner is distracted when you walk in the door 1/2 hour before Closing and they have the Closing sign in their hand.
- Not a coffee shop to return to when you pay top price and they only have paper cups because all the china is in the dishwasher waiting for Closing time.
- Your GPS is having mind fog when you enter a major street name in your destination query, and it can't find it.
- You've upped your pain threshold when your face says "Ouch" but you don't feel anything.
- You are going to the hospital too often when the paramedics know your age and middle name.
- A doctor is a person committed to convincing you that you aren't as sick as you know you are.
- The unwritten law of the bureaucrat: They know everything about you; you know nothing.
- Many people with CFS-ME change their residence to a B&B: Broke and Busted.
- Pet store Clearance sale next to a Sushi restaurant with an all-you-can-eat Special.
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