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What is " Passive Language" ?
Read through the following and the companion page on Active Language.
Then, note the phrases you use throughout the day. Write them down.
Even try to be aware of the thoughts you have in your background thinking.
What feelings are you experiencing? Try and determine this once an hour.
Whatever you are feeling, ask yourself what the belief/language behind it is.
You do have a Choice.
Yes, you CAN decide what you accept to think.
Passive language tells you and others that you don't believe this.
Passive language tells you and others that you can't control yourself.
Passive language broadcasts that you are not taking responsibility.
It is an excuse for the negativity you reflect, magnify, and, create.
Passive language helps us to cope with intensely abusive interaction.
It also sabotages us from welcoming respect, understanding, and compassion.
If you impose, victimize, or hate yourself, you invite others to do so.
You can choose to be abandoned, or, to participate.
Only the familiarity and ease of what you think and believe MAKE you do so.
EASY is simply what you have practiced or heard thousands of times.
If you choose to mentor and educate yourself, you can choose what you want.
If you do not want what would be best for yourself, do you know Why.
Others are sometimes best to be put forward first, sometimes, yet NEVER always.
When and Why do you put yourself down? Is that fair? What does that bring you?
When and Why do you put others second? What is the positive in that, for you?
"Doing unto others as we feel we have been done to"
has been a Self-Centered Principle and a Moral Excuse for most of human history.
It wins when only a few choose to have the assertiveness and courage to reject it.
YOU are part of the community. You can add to the abusive nature you hate.
You can lessen the abuses imposed on others and,
YOU can lessen the motivation for others to lash out, or back, against you.
Have you had enough rejection, anxiety, fear, guilt?
YOUR actions and attitudes imprint and encourage others to duplicate.
You are and will be responsible for the example you present to others.
Do you want to receive from others what you show to them?
Others tend to Avoid Conflict.
Whatever you do and say, others will often accept, or, leave.
It is easy to abuse someone who minimizes and doubts you.
Others will see and know you for what you do, and, what you say.
Others will choose to abandon someone who is Stuck AND Negative.
Persons who commit themselves to Fearing the best for themselves and others .. attract, directly and indirectly, negative (destructive) influences from other people and the universe.
Passive language is about AVOIDING.
Avoiding is about fearing Reality, not having faith, confidence, or doing.
Reject your feelings out of confusion and fear and they will become your enemies.
We all LOSE when you reject community, love, self.
You can Express your talents, or, you can distort them into toxins.
Passive Language is about doing passivity or aggressiveness.
Not when it is relevant, but obsessively like a robot, less than human.
Passive language is saying what you think others want to hear.
It is not what you believe; it is what you expect others will accept.
THEIR acceptance does not justify your participation in HATE.
Why is Passive Language important
Passive language advertises that we are doubting in what we do.
Passive language tells others that we are doing "Being a Victim".
It tells others that we expect and welcome being abused and manipulated.
Passive language attracts those who would deceive us and themselves.
It repels those who would be encouraging and encourages destruction.
Passive language tells others that we are intolerant.
Losing much of our Capacity for Action you have experienced, IF you have CFS-ME. Our Reptilian Structure will set our activity threshold at that lower point if we keep rerunning that video in our mind. Much of our semi-conscious self-talk is like an abusive parent threatening us in the background. It can go on so automatically that we are scarcely aware that it is even happening. At that point we are using it much the same as self-hypnosis, or, sleep learning. That means that every time we let the recording run, we are accepting and encouraging that state of mind, and being, into the present. Is that what we want?
Our Reptilian Structure is that basic nerve foundation of our brains and spinal column which is considered more primitive than our complex Limbic (Emotional) and NeoCortex (Conscious rationalizing) nerve structures. It was named Reptilian because it is the main nervous structure of snakes and other reptiles, THEIR brain, which they share with us. If you have CFS-ME, it IS what will ultimately determine HOW you live, HOW LONG you live, and whether you recover or not. It's responsibilities include your immune system, your organ functions and harmony, and, your ENERGY availability. It learns by repetition. It notes a pattern or association according to strength and familiarity. The stronger, more urgent, and more life stabilizing a response is to a perceived reality, the easier it becomes for that response to become a learned reaction, automatic.
Patterns which work against us to sabotage our health Recovery, are a Real drudge. How do we make these easy, and automatic, and waste a lot of time and energy, if they are destructive. The kinds of patterns we too often encourage include these:
- Prejudice.
- Denial.
- Addictions.
- Lies.
- Pride.
Encouraging Reptilian Patterns is not something we need to consciously will to happen. Our Reptilian Structure does NOT learn through rationalization. It doesn't wait for our consciousness to say when to have our hearts beat. It doesn't wait for us to consciously tell it when to add and lessen energy from our fat reserves so as to keep our body temperature within a degree, regardless of the external and internal weather. It learns by repetition. It learns even better if it is not distracted.
The greater our focus, the faster and "cleaner" it learns for us.
"Cleaner" because there is less benefit if what IT learns is confused by a lot of maybe, if, and, and or. What brain STATES are best for this. If we know this, we can not only learn faster, but with more discernment. If we know this, we can understand HOW and WHEN we are learning in this way which we may have been unaware of. We can better ensure that we are learning something which will bring us strength and Recovery.
Learning by rote is when we consciously repeat something over and over to assist ourselves in learning to "memorize" our multiplication tables, our language, our English class poems, scripture verses for church, our school play actor's part. A few persons are gifted to be able to simply see something and remember it as if they had photographed it into their memory. Most of us must begin our learning by using repetition. In like fashion, complex physical skills are also refined into strength and co-ordination of movement and movements, by repetition, by practice. Yet these FORMS of Reptilian learning include a degree of conscious awareness, supervision, direction. Our Ego and SuperEgo want to believe that THEIR part is important. It IS their contribution. For our Reptilian Structure, it is a distraction. In reality, it enables us to have Choice and take responsibility for WHAT we learn.
Learning WITHOUT Choice.
Is this a good thing? Does this happen? How does it influence us?
When our Reptilian Structure is NOT distracted, and, to the degree that it is exposed to URGENCIES, IT will learn. We know that we are birthed into this world with a host of automated biological and "instinctual" reactive and responsive patterns. To this we become aware of apparent "hereditary" patterns of behavior. We know that energy blocks are frequently formed through exposure to just ONE traumatic experience or sensitive exposure to a toxic substance or feeling. We also can become aware of many behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes which we learn through imprinting. For many of us, these parts of our "thinking" are so deeply US, that we may assume for a very long time that they are unchangeable, even correct, or bad, depending upon the responses of others to us when we express them. As mentioned elsewhere in this material, we CAN change all of these.
Much of culture is what we learn, without Choice.
We are simply exposed to it. Persons who are well intentioned, and some who are evil ... expose, impress, and, impose this FORM of learning on us. Much of this "socialized" learning is built into guidelines, limitations, and ideals over a period of many exposures. Yet, is there a faster, more powerful way in which others can impose passivity patterns on Reptilian Structures to learn? Such a way would have to be "clean" ... free of the conscious interference, doubt, and fears of our Ego and SuperEgo. Yet, this can become more complex through the conflicting motivations of the leaders and the followers.
The term "Catch 22" has been given to decisions in which a reward is promised by one level of authority, yet, if the reward is earned, the decisionmaker and action taker, is penalized, by the initial promise being changed dramatically in subversion. Cultural and abuse founded Fears may fall into this category. Perhaps I am working a security shift. I have been scheduled to go home, and I and my family are looking forward to doing so, at the end of this shift.
There arises a Catch!
Near the end of this 12-hour shift, the officer due to replace me for the next 12-hour shift calls to report that he cannot come today. The supervisor takes the call and immediately contacts the manager, with urgency, for advice, and authority. The manager makes an easy decision, for him. Calling in someone who is not scheduled will be time consuming. There may not be anyone who can leave for work immediately as they have other personal plans already made and in action. I am on site and finishing my shift.
The manager commands that I am to stay past the end of my scheduled shift and accept the following 12-hour shift as the replacement for the absentee. Do I have a choice? If I say "No", the work necessary for the manager to correct the problem will immediately go from calm to intense. At worst, the manager may have to leave his home and family and take the shift. Either way, the manager could become most unhappy with all of the personal frustration. He WILL remember MY choice. Next time he has something difficult to assign, he might just think of me to reward with it first.
I have a choice. I can go home, as promised and planned, and get some timely rest and then spend the rest of the day, as planned, with my family or friends. Home environment is preserved. Work environment becomes difficult. Or, I can phone home and cancel all of my personal plans for the day, and stay at work and please my manager and the rest of the staff. Of course, my family will be peeved and disappointed.
Either way, if this happens again in the memory of either party (6 months), I am building a stressed and fragile relationship with my employer, or, my family. In some cases, not putting the employer first can result in an unacceptable rating of "undependable" for me in my career. Am I, and my family, willing to surrender my career, and income stability and level ... to share the time with me? I am afraid to upset my boss. I am afraid to upset my family. I have 30 seconds to make a decision and no time to discuss this with either of the parties who depend upon me, and on whom I depend. Which FEAR do I succumb to? Either way, I lose, it seems. The question for the learning part is: "Which FEAR will have the larger impact on me and should I thus avoid?"
What are the ways OTHERS could impose learning, dependably.
For that element of DEPENDABILITY, others would have to be able to Preview and Choose what THEY wanted us to learn, first. Then, THEY could ACCEPT the detail as valued. THEY could sanction its dependability for SAVAGE learning. Savage learning is when you take the order to run and do so, or, get snagged on by the charging tiger. Those OTHERS will shut off THEIR Feelings to focus on manipulating our alertness. THEY can trigger our input, feed US the new info, and lock it in with an anchor. A smile or scowl from them will tell you what you face tomorrow. Done. Now, it is automatic in association, recollection, application. It is how THEY want US! Follow orders, or, get out!
What are the common known ways to force choice?
Some of these FORMATS include parts of one another.
ALL of them include degrees of Choice: initial, continuing, mentored.
Most of us know, consciously, by feedback, or unconsciously ... that the learning we contract to in these ways WILL impact our lives. Our actions, behaviors, and participation WILL be supported by these practices. Their limitations will be bounded by our energy blocks, our imprinting, and, our awareness.
If we are unaware of a THIRD Choice, we won't attempt it.
That takes assertiveness, planning, awareness, and trust between us and the other parties. We likely will not have the experience, skills, or mentoring for a positive outcome when we first encounter this challenge. If we are in denial of our imprinting, we will not question it. If we are strong in pride and unforgiving of our energy blocks, we will be frustrated. Our greatest adversaries, in this area, are OUR ignorance, denial, and pride. The first two are addressed in this material. Whether you choose to be humble and build strength from it will be up to YOU.
Ritual.
A ritual is a sequence of words and/or actions which we repeat.
It can be the preparations we make before going to bed which assists our sleep. It can be the statements we make and movements we take when we enter a building, meet other people, participate in a service of membership, start our car, perform research, do our job, have an argument, watch a movie, check for Spiritual Guidance, perform a routine. Rituals connect us closely with something or someone else. They are a demonstration of and commitment to membership. We are a person who sleeps (when, how long, where). We are a person who respects (the values given to a building, sash, badge, color, signal, sound, ...) what has been agreed upon by others (the culture, authorities, priests, ...).
What is the Purpose?
Rituals are created to provide harmony, orderliness, efficiency.
These are all powerful traits of our Reptilian Structure.
It is the Values we enshrine in our rituals that matter.
Those values may be relevant today; destructive later.
Show care as to what rituals you want to be part of YOU.
They give you Purpose.
What can we apply from this format?
There are Seven characteristics which contribute to the effectiveness of ritual. If we include these in our Fast Track to OUR Future, we may increase our degree of successfulness.
- Respect
- Calm
- Attention
- Listening
- Acceptance
- Participation
- Command
Threat.
These are usually short, personally meaningful and significant, statements of potential loss. They command obedience in return for leaving something with us that we want. Our degree of want, and the possibility of its loss, may push us to reassess its value. With fantasy and projection, the true value that has been represented in the Past, may, through the possibility of Loss, now be elevated to the intensity of a Need.
Others use threats to impose THEIR desires and needs onto us such that their insecurities may be lessened and their sense of control become more certain. Persons with strong Identity Factors sometimes use Threats, within themselves, to modify destructive habits through replacement with constructive intent. The resorting to threats for motivation is a hazard for persons with CFS-ME for it will demand energy when further energy loss can be critical against recovery. WHAT you threaten can destroy your health through the constant fear of negative expectation and hold you captive to being a victim.
What can we apply from this format?
There are Four characteristics which contribute to the effectiveness of a threat. If we include these in our Fast Track to OUR Future, we may decrease our degree of successfulness.
- Dependency
- Command
- Participation
- Acceptance
Fear.
Fear involves stimulating the mind, to associate with past anxieties, fears, pains, concerns, possibilities ... and magnifying our consciousness into the borderland of fantasy. The use of Fear, to motivate is a crude skill. It adds constricting feelings like terror and abandonment to the Intellect. Too often our Feelings are put aside, on hold and in limbo, while our intellect and Reptilian Structure are trying to gain Control of our environment.
To become aware of what we have learned to avoid, and to discern when such is positive or destructive, we must temporarily pause our interaction with it and put it to the side. Now, we can "see" and "feel" the Reality which the fears have been hiding. There may be a Real urgency to be addressed, Now. More often, our fear inspired rush may sabotage our health further. It may be irrelevant. With a new awareness, we have a Choice to accept any new findings. We may accept the fear biased response, modify it, or, discard it. THAT response will determine who we are becoming, WHERE we have been, and HOW FAR we are willing to participate, just now.
Fear is Limiting and Constrictive.
Fear can be manipulated with Authority.
Fear can be encouraged with Ritual/Imprinting.
Fear can be more focused with a Threat of pain or loss.
Fear can be made Terror with fantasy & projection.
The benefits you receive from the Fear you Feel can be an extension of how well you integrate the different ways we have of powerfully assisting our Reptilian Structure. Unfortunately, most expressions of fear, use much energy and disrupt many of the co-ordinated biological interaction indicative of health
What can we apply from this format?
There are Four characteristics which contribute to the effectiveness of Fear. If we include these in our Fast Track to OUR Future, we will decrease our degree of successfulness.
- Dependency
- Command
- Urgency
- Acceptance
Control.
Control can intensify patterns of behavior, and, attitude, which are destructive for our Recovery and for our strength of health. Control is often effective with persons who want the Acceptance of the control person. This form of, often emotional, dependency can be encouraged by Personality factors, anxieties, fears, energy blocks, and distractions. Our beliefs can determine whether we will be a slave to control-by-one-or-more persons, or, transmute their control into compassion through the addition of encouragement for them to change. Control by one or more others, can provide significant short-term (months) benefits for the ill person; however, the tendency to use this approach to develop dependency is highly destructive. Do we, or will we allow ourselves, to Believe that this person, this method, these statements must be a Benefit for us?
Control does take away our choice, and, allows others to make decisions for us. They do not ask for our agreement or our understanding. This may be almost automatic if the other person represents a level of authority we have Accepted. This may be assisted by the mention of a role title, such as "Doctor", or by the visual cues of a uniform (dress code), such as a white tunic, certificates on the wall, displays of others (how the person is addressed), the location they are in (medical building), the manner of their presentation (perhaps loud, direct, powerful, demeaning). If our defences are lowered through our desire for acceptance or help from the other person (for they alone can sanction tests or treatment), it is easier for us to surrender our option of Choice.
Control involves our unconscious (and sometimes conscious) removal of intellectual participation and a determination to Follow the Commands of the other person as beneficial. If their options are accepted, there is no interference to stop our Reptilian Structure from simply adopting them as Real. Our Reptilian Structure adapts, responds, and most of all, reacts to reality. Its job and major value is that it can efficiently provide us with solutions which maintain our physical viability, continuance, and safety. OUR future is dependent upon how Fast, and Consistent, it can be. If our heartbeat varies in frequency, without a signaled necessity, it will bring anarchy to hundreds of biochemical processes which depend upon it for their harmony. Here, we use that POWER, to learn something new, or gain access to something that is protected, quickly, and thoroughly.
What can we apply from this format?
There are Five characteristics which contribute to the effectiveness of Control. If we include these in our Fast Track to OUR Future, we may increase our degree of successfulness.
- Intensity
- Urgency
- Command
- Reaction
- Acceptance
Brutality.
With brutality, others, or ourselves, use violence to bring our minds to a state of panic. They HAVE our attention. We are drowning in anxieties and fears, closed off from receiving, negative in expectation. We want the experience to STOP. We want THEM gone, or, calm. The more emotionally attached or physically dependent we are on another person, the easier it will be for us to be brutalized. The less spiritually strong we are, the easier it is for us to enter and attract this state. The more physically bound we are in our awareness, perceptions and motivations, the easier it becomes for us to FEEL this state, remember it, and even induce it in others. Brutality is often expressed through violence or rage. It can signify a rebellion against a feeling or perception of oneself as a victim.
Violence is an Action we take to express
- our frustration with the disasters in our life,
- our resignation that we must be the masters of ourselves and others,
- our despair that all is anarchy unless we exert our Control over it,
- our expectation that others will hurt us unless we hurt them first.
We may express our violence against others (human, pet, or other), against things, or against ourselves.
A few examples of this FEELING of Rage.
It is this Feeling which DRAINS our Power of contribution, and, GIVES the Power of the Loser of others into our involvement. Expressed largely against ourselves, this weakens our endocrine glands and organs, and, frightens others.
- Eyes bulging.
- Muscles tensed.
- Swearing.
- Sighing.
- Holding our breath.
Victim is an inaction state we take to avoid
- rejection,
- independence,
- work,
- exclusion,
- pain,
- abuse.
Too often, we allow our personal Satan ("adversary of God/Love") to taint our expectations with TALK which separates and isolates us from others. It puts us in opposition to others and in competition with them. It affirms to us that we are, and intend to be and remain, by ourselves, losing, defeated, abused, victimized, enraged, and hateful. Choose carefully WHAT you expect. It will contribute to what you Receive and what you lose, through Denial.
What can we use caution about from this format?
There are FOUR characteristics which contribute to the effectiveness of Brutality. If we include these in our Fast Track to OUR Future, we will decrease our degree of successfulness.
- Alarm
- Loudness
- Authority
- Imposing
ALL of the above formats use Language.
Some are more language intensive than others, yet all are participated in by an understanding of concepts and beliefs which have been, or can be, expressed in words. Some of these formats are spoken out, some are rehearsed silently, and, some can be variations of either and can fluctuate back and forth between the two. Yet ALL depend upon how we repeatedly, and consistently, suppress what we feel and think.
We know that others CHOOSE WHAT values they put into those formats. We can choose to deny, modify, or understand the format. We can choose the Message. We can choose how Strong we want the threat or fear to be. It IS a skill because we can take something which is strong and often automatic for others, and transform it into something which is weak, and compassionate. That transformation can make it a foundation on which we are building our Future.
Our speed of RECOVERY depends upon our Foundation.
With Passivity, we choose a foundation on sand.
Life becomes avoidance, selfishness, paranoia.
Whichever way the wind blows, our sand blows.
We are at once committed to everything, and nothing.
We let others choose our direction, our beliefs, our life.
We place our faith in other humans and deny God.
We remain the emotional infant, suckling at the nipple.
Our foundation can be one of Active Participation.
That Foundation includes how Loving we are of Ourselves.
Life is Participation: dynamic and moving ... Active!
Death is being absent: still and hard ... like a rock.
Dis-ease is being alive, yet acting as if one were dying.
Are we living a Strong LIFE, or, a weak DEATH?
Our LANGUAGE counts!
Examples of Passive Language
- I don't know.
- (sigh) indicating anxiety, fear, ..
- Fine
- Nice
- I (hate) my body, mind, life, feelings, ..
- I should (indicating subjugation)
- I wish (passive expectation of rescue)
- I always (indicates dependency)
- I did that before/earlier (passive surrender)
- Words of (bitterness, condemnation, vindication)
- I'll never ... (indicates intolerance)
- It is hopeless, despairing, disappointing.
- I will try (when used to Avoid saying "No")
- profit
- (deception)
- So, ... (indicates not listening)
- If I just had ...
- (murmuring) ... repressed anger, anxiety, intolerance ..
- Can you ... give me a raise? (begging)
Passive language protects us from abusive authority.
It conveys that our perception of our environment and those around us is one of privilege, intolerance, victimization, imposition, assumption, expectation, restriction, threat, and conflict. It reminds us every instance that we are inferior, dependent, subservient, staff. We are troops in a war environment. The officers do not have either the time or the patience to explain to us why we are to follow their orders. We have been told that if we are to receive any attention or benefits from the group, we must acknowledge the experience and expertise of the leaders. They know what is best. It is not for us to question, delay, or suggest.
There are parallels between the trooper and the CFS-ME person.
- A Commitment to respect Authority.
- An allegiance to appointed or elected leadership.
- An importance of being a compliant follower.
- A fear of penalty, pain, injury, and death.
- A strategy which is sanctioned by other absent.
- Many others who live in membership.
Acceptance IS the end.
For those who Recover and Live, it is the justification.
It is when confusion, concern, fear, and insecurity are exchanged for a parental confidence, assurance, and, certainty that if the war can be won, it will be won through the employment of immediate, economical, simple weapons and time honored tactics. The strategy is to associate our weaknesses with those of similar troops of another time. We are then to be given the same training and ammunition that the former troopers won their battle with. With the confidence and assurance of our officers, we are to soldier out onto the field, employ our new weapons, and return victorious. If we do succeed, we may be allowed to go free and return home. In doing so, we must always be reverent of the officers who so well equipped us for the fight. If we fail, we die.
Persons with CFS-ME often make brief sorties into the field.
They return wounded and exhausted to the stern faces of the officers.
They are debriefed and informed of what they have done wrong and why they must now do better. They again soldier into the field amidst the rain and mud. Flares explode above them to light the way through the dark night. They plod onward, tripping and stumbling over the twisted trees which
block the roads. Your buddies fall back and urge you forward to be the hero. They wait in anticipation for the next shell to explode or the next onslaught to appear over the ridge. You have your orders. You push onward over the knoll, and find, nothing! There is no enemy there. It is blank, a wasteland. You must have misunderstood the general.
You return back to the headquarters.
You go to the general with concern and exhaustion.
Something is wrong. You went out onto the battlefield.
You struggled through the bureaucratic mud and over the institutional bridges. You mounted the chairs and gave your blood and urine in service to the corps. The sky exploded with flares of awareness. Your peers were pointing through the din and smoke. What were they saying? Closing time! But you pushed on forward to the top of the hill. Then, in the gloom you peered over the partition, and, no one was there! Was it the wrong battlefield?
The general is angry.
You are not following orders correctly.
You were to wait in the field for the officers to send word.
A communications officer would bring you more orders.
Get back out to the field. No need for you at headquarters.
Now the word comes. The enemy is hiding, or, retreating.
Time to move, keep moving forward through the mud.
There, in the distance, the enemy appears.
Something is wrong!
Your horse is tired. Your bayonet rusty.
Your bullets are wet; your clothes caked in mud.
The enemy is riding in a Humvee mounted with a machine gun.
They are dry, protected, well armed, fast, and agile.
What Happened!!?
Your general prepared you for 1917.
But, its 2009!
Many troopers fighting a guerilla force die on the field. Why?
Doctors fight conventional wars. They don't know this one.
Subservience.
Disrespect.
Commercial.
Sanction.
Victim.
Subservience.
Believing that ANOTHER can Lead YOUR battle, is naivety.
Believing that ANOTHER knows you better than YOU, is reverence.
Believing that ANOTHER is better than a Team, is fantasy.
Believing that ANOTHER can cure you simply, is ignorance.
Believing that ANOTHER deserves your obedience, is slavery.
Subservience is not only weak, it is sabotaging.
It is laziness expecting salvation.
Be dumb, take orders.
Disrespect.
Minimization is encouraged when we accept prescriptions.
Minimization is encouraged when we Take whatever is offered.
Confusion is invited when we reduce to what THEY want.
Defeat is a reality of CFS-ME.
Embrace and Accept it.
It is YOUR paranoia.
Commercial.
What does it cost?
Only tests to run that are cheap.
Don't ask or suggest, we'll Tell you.
No time to finish now. Make another visit.
Try this shot. It works for many others.
You don't need supplements. They are useless.
The side effects are not important, for you.
If the test is negative, you are healthy.
It is all in the file. I skimmed it earlier.
If this doesn't work, you'll have to live with it.
What do you expect? You are getting old.
Just get up and ignore the symptoms.
No time for more. Go home.
Sanction.
We are told what (tests) we can run.
It is the same approach we have all learned.
I studied 20 years ago. I have practiced since.
It was good enough for them. It should be good enough for you.
I have my degree and the job. Who are you to question me?
I do as I'm told and I keep my job and make good money.
New science is hearsay. I go with the association.
What is your problem? Which (one) symptom is it?
Be brief, a 5 minute life history.
Enough, heard enough.
Impossible.
Victim.
Help.
What can I do?
Whatever you say.
You know what is best.
Whatever you think it is.
Just give me a prescription.
Thanks, I'm on my way again.
YOU have ALL the answers.
I'm so fortunate you are here.
Next appointment, next week.
I don't care what it is. Just get me better.
If you choose to float on the sea of CFS-ME, your life will rise and fall with the waves. Yes, you will always be in the Now. Your fantasy of health will likely avoid you. With nothing defined, treatment is guesswork. No hazards in doing nothing. We can't find anything so we won't treat anything. No sense messing up something that may fix itself. Let's wait a few more months and see. You can't lose a battle you never fought. You can't win a battle against an unseen, imaginary enemy.
Consider these..
Selfishness.
How many people have been there to cheer you on?
Not likely many. Whatever you have done, you owe it only to yourself. No one has been helping you. No one else should get or need any help either. If you need it, you will find it. If you don't find it, or it doesn't drop on your table, you don't need it. You are doing all that is necessary. You were told by the best authorities that you would never get better. What are these weirdos about, telling people that they have a chance at recovery. You'll just make all that worthless effort and spend all that money for nothing. I'm keeping my money so that I can continue to pay my rent until I can move into something smaller. No more waste for me. I'll just enjoy my music and get my sleep. Someday those other creepies will learn to accept that their life is over. Mine is.
Dependency.
Love, to many people is a relationship in which one person's strengths adjust for another's weaknesses. If I don't want to cook or don't know how, I just love someone who is excellent at it. I am a woman so I am supposed to have children. I need a man to help with the start, so, I married. We love each other. I give my hubby children and the neighborhood respects him as the man. He works hard doing stressful things all day so that I and the kids can live in a descent house and dress like our friends. We do for each other. I give him sex and he buys me dresses, flowers, chocolates .. you know, the things women like. We have a great relationship. Now I've got CFS-ME. What a downer. I can't do what I used to do so easily now. Hubby is getting more upset, more often. I can't always have the supper ready for 6:00 p.m. I am having trouble getting out of bed, yet, I just don't feel like doing what he would like to. Maybe he will get sick also and then understand what state I am in, more.
Impatience.
If you have had CFS-ME for longer than 9 months, you may have developed quite a bit of impatience, with yourself and others. What is with you?! You can't get out of bed before noon! You can't do your work at the office without spacing out like your brain just evaporated! That's what you may be saying to yourself. It doesn't matter how many times you have mentioned your fatigue or other symptoms to your spouse, children, relatives, friends, associates, doctors, and even near strangers ... they all carry on as if they were deaf while you were talking. This is unbelievable. You don't understand what you have. Your doctors seem to be even less sympathetic. They act as if you are wasting THEIR time because they can't diagnose and treat you! Your health therapists are clamoring for you to come more often. Your results with them are sketchy, and, their fees, not covered by any government or insurance plan, seem to be dragging you to the poorhouse. Everyone seems to be getting annoyed with you. You are becoming increasingly frustrated with them. Why don't they do their JOBS?!
Science.
What is this? You've heard for decades that science can put a man on the Moon, yet they can't diagnose CFS-ME? And every time you turn around science seems to be saying that new information has been found to disprove the Truths they gave us earlier. If the earlier truths were lies, what makes the current findings any better? Well, what can one do? We will just have to stay where we are and ask the doctor about new findings when we go each year for our checkup. Billions of dollars are pouring into the labs for research. Sooner or later a cure will be found. I guess we just have to wait.
Ignorance.
CFS-ME, whatever that stands for.
The doc says I might have that.
I asked him if I get a prescription or should I take tests or something first. She said we might try a prescription but she isn't sure which drug would help best. She says there isn't much written about it in the medical texts except that it has been a hoax for years. She doesn't think that I am fooling but the tests she ran say everything seems to be working. Maybe it is some kind of brain poisoning that I've been exposed to. You know how everything these days is contaminated with something ... food, beverages, even the air from those suspicious aircraft that fly over. You know, I wasn't sick until after our office moved into the building on Main Street. Could be that there are poisons in the air there. The neighbor wonders if it could be some heavy flu that my kids might have carried home from school. And you know, I may be being persecuted by god because I shoplifted a blouse 3 months ago from Discount Charlie's.
The General speaks.
If THEY say you are well, who are you to dispute?
You want the Truth. Believe what you are told.
One visit. Then, off to a specialist.
No alternatives. Only one doctor taking new patients in your region. He or she will be good enough. Everyone gets the same training. Everyone works under the same rules. The best is whomever you get. You don't like it. Get used to it! You don't get a choice. Outside THE region, you don't exist. And, if you don't exist, you can't be treated.
It is in acceptance that we demonstrate our dependency.
The strong hoard their earnings, in pride, of privilege.
If you expect recovery, you open the door to hope.
Hope opens the door to reverence.
Everyone follows the rules.
Cure = Irrelevancy.
Sit down.
The EXPERT brings new HOPE to the dependent.
The EXPERT dispels despair & depression.
The EXPERT gets Paid.
Confused, or, Directed?
Who are you going to follow?
THEY will BE your Future.
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