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1. How many answers ?
Scheduling depends upon priorities.
Priorities depend upon commitments.
Commitments depend on verbal, emotional, written contracts.
Contracts define what we are to receive in exchange for our contribution.
The answers we receive are often defined, and limited, to the contracts we commit to. If you are committed and don't know it, your unconscious is ruling you. The battle between your conscious and unconscious will result in anxiety (denial), frustration (anger), and confusion (mental fatigue). The greater the battle, the greater the imbalance of one's health. Two masters (Ego/SuperEgo) in charge of one slave (Reptilian Structure) encourages overwork of the slave. Two competing masters in charge of one slave encourages rebellion (dis-ease). Much healthier for the 3 to work equally, together, according to their capabilities.
There are many people who look for their life in a series of expectations and assumptions. Their family, religion, and culture has imprinted on them that all they have to do for happiness is to earn acceptance. And, all they have to do for acceptance is to mold themselves into the sanctioned Roles and restrictions which form a basis for that imprinting. You will be looked after as long as you obey and do what is expected of you. This dynamic of coercive/voluntary obedience becomes complicated in three major circumstances:
- "Family" vs Community,
- Status quo vs Dispossessed.
- CFS-ME vs the World.
1. "Family" vs Community.
Essentially this is a conflict between allegiance to one's intimate relationships and one's social/state/political/religious memberships. Since the beginning of bureaucracies and government there has been this separation and conflict. There are many groups which build upon this code of commitment. Catholics, Chinese, Cosa Nostra, gangs, Jews, The (Neighbor)Hood, law officers, peer groups, priesthoods, Protestants (many factions), (the) Rich, Triads, tribes, and others all support close ties to one another in terms of obligations and sacrifices. Whether the affiliation is one of age and gender, economics, education, ethnicity, nationality, or, religion, each shares a common set of principles. Some of these are:
- invitation, and, possibly, rejection;
- affirmation: common beliefs;
- initiation: shared experience;
- confirmation: actions of risk;
- sanction: by a leader/authority;
- obligation: to protect other members;
- respect: as an equal by peers;
- privilege: for services rewarded;
- protection: from enemies;
- worldview: us against the rest;
- hope: an expectation of salvation;
- doing: reciprocity for what received;
- wonder: at one's history;
- death: with honor;
- soul: memory, with reverence.
In times of economic challenge and scarcity, the attraction of reciprocal enhancement of one's abilities can change starvation into sufficiency, poverty into wealth, rejection into acceptance, unskilled into apprentice, demeaned into respected, and, oddity into norm. Such members bond together out of a concern for survival, safety, acceptance, self-esteem. Happiness extends from the satisfaction of, or promise of satisfaction of, all of these anxieties, and, fears.
2. Status quo vs Dispossessed.
Every large population group creates an economic myth of what is supposed to be available for each member or citizen in terms of income, capacity to own material goods, education, and health. That is the ideal. That is what politics means. It is a broadcasted statement of what those few representing the majority believe is best for the rest. Good intentions are offered, often by a privileged minority, who do not have and have never experienced the hardships and restraints of the majority. They are often elected or appointed on the basis that they represent the social and economic position which the others would like to attain, or, suggest a dignity and earned respect as better educated and more intelligent than the electorate. They INTEND to bring fairness and opportunity to the masses they serve.
Some categories of members are politically more deserving than others. Historically, that has been the result. The adoption of membership into the political family has often depended upon who had the most influential contact with the legislative members and those working in the bureaucracy. Everyone working there denies this tendency, yet, every decade numerous "landmark" cases reveal the obvious. In true political fashion, those who are heard, or felt, become disproportionate winners in the grab for special considerations. Ideally, which is another word for intellectually, those who lobby the case to the members are heard more loudly than those who send letter, or speak amongst themselves. Even greater consideration may be given to individuals and corporations which have financially rewarding services done for, or products given to, a member of the establishment.
Power is the attraction for anyone entering politics.
It may be initially for the real intention of serving the public and bringing greater justice to those who are, or seem to be, disadvantaged by environmental or political events of catastrophe. Whether the incident be one of massive flood or drought, or, one of financial ruin and business loss ... government forces are often called upon to ameliorate these unfortunate Choices and random realities. Yes, most often there will be much gnashing of teeth about who may be to blame or the uncontrollability of the disaster. Only the visual screams and wailing of those hoards maimed in the short-term and emblazoned across the drama hungry media receive attention.
Many times, those who are intimately responsible will lose some of the great sums they have embezzled and spend (only) months in jail for the financial ruin of thousands of families. The families trusted the government to protect them. Most often, those flooded out by building in a flood plane with a historical record of flooding every few decades or century, will be enabled to rebuild in the same unwise location. Those responsible for making the laws and enforcing the regulations often go unannounced and undisciplined. For a lack of leadership, preventable catastrophes are enabled.
The status quo is the perceived appearance of what the leadership would like to believe THEIR membership present. With a larger population and a complexity of the representation of people from many industries, districts, nationalities, income brackets, educational levels, and health difficulties, each individual politician can only represent the views and needs of the political party they belong to by matter of financial necessity. With many potentially conflicting demands and viewpoints, each party can only orderly support ONE. The remainder go unheard, unrepresented. An adversary system of competitors fighting like 2-year-olds over the toys left in the playground, becomes the reality.
Too often, it is the dispossessed who are the majority.
They are the ones perceived by the elected to be the unheard and unimportant. Their votes may have been sabotaged against them to support the views and principles they voted against, or which disadvantage them ... because, their family of voters only represented 49% of the popular vote. In multi-party voting systems, the integrity of the ballot cast by the registered member is further reduced such that the winning party, to be given 100% of the vote, may only have received less than 30% at the polls. With greater insult, it has become common for 50% and more of the voters not to vote ... leaving the winners with as low as 50% for the above totals. Winning with 15% of the real vote suggests that in this "democracy" 85% of the real membership go unrepresented. And, they passively accept this fraudulent system, because, "It has always been this way!"
3. CFS-ME vs the World.
Who are to answer for those with CFS-ME?
Those with CFS-ME are weakened and meekened by their illness.
Whose "family" do they fit into? They may have BEEN members in either of the "Community" or Status Quo groups earlier. Now, they are rejected by BOTH groups for their inability to fulfill their membership obligations. They struggle each day to survive. They can't hold their job. They can't attend meetings. They can't make speeches, with passion. They can't fund raise, organize, or lobby. Their doctor, therapist, and health facilitator are often afraid and doubtful of the confusing, demented, and depressing nature of their illnesses. It is all too rationally easy to accept the gossip of such people being deceptive and manipulative towards some fantasy end of social care.
In a research article published in 2006, these points are relevant ...
Neurological, immunological, hormonal, gastrointestinal, and
musculoskeletal problems are all common among people with CFS (Friedberg &
Jason, 1998). Descriptions of symptom complexes similar to CFS have occurred
in the medical literature for centuries (Hyde, 2003), and it is a condition
that occurs throughout the world.
The excess mortality was almost entirely related
to deaths from cancer, but there were also more deaths from causes other than
disease (e.g., accidents, suicide, violence) among people with widespread
pain.
Streeten and Bell (2000) found that the majority of patients
with CFS had striking decreases in circulating blood volume. The blood vessels
in patients with CFS were constricted dramatically, and efforts to restore
normal volume have met with limited success.
A European team (De Meirleir
et al., 2000) has also found increased levels of 80 kDa and 37 kDa RNase L in
patients with CFS. The ratio of this 37 kDa protein to the normal 80 kDa
protein was high in 72% of patients with CFS but only in 1% of the healthy
controls and in none of the depression and fibromyalgia control patients.
Twemlow,
Bradshaw, Coyne, and Lerma (1997) found that 66% of individuals with CFS
stated that they were made worse by their doctors' care. Clearly, individuals
who are extremely sick with an illness will feel even more alienated and
demoralized if those who are responsible for helping them are insensitive to
their needs. Certainly, all of these factors, including demoralization,
estrangement from the medical establishment, and unsympathetic responses may
cause some individuals to develop depression as well. A sense of hopelessness
concerning the illness and comorbid depression may also increase the risk for
developing suicidal thoughts or behavior.
These QUOTES are taken from this article:
Causes of Death among Patients
with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Leonard A. Jason, Karina Corradi, Sara Gress,
Sarah Williams, and Susan Torres-Harding
Center for Community Research, DePaul University,
990 W. Fullerton Ave., Suite 3100, Chicago, IL 60614
Health Care for Women International, Vol. 27:615-626, 2006
http://www.tandf.co.uk/journals/titles/07399332.html
Received 16 December 2004; accepted 16 March 2005.
There are many ANSWERS already known regarding the "causes" or indicators of CFS-ME. The Reality is that there has been little effort made by politically funded research towards extending these answers both to create a knowledgeable health facilitation network, including doctors, and, to fund further research aimed at finding resolutions. No "community" of CFS-ME sufferers can be politically effective at stimulating significant public and political interest and response, due to the symptomology of such persons ... although some organizations have made valiant efforts. Those with CFS-ME are this placed into an adversarial role against the status quo, and, the "family" community. There is no financial or power gain in their membership.
2. Is TWO enough ?
Whether we are scheduling an appointment to see our doctor, health facilitator, nutritionist, lawyer, friend, or other contact, it is easy to be boxed into a YES/NO answer in response to THEIR availability. For a person with time and energy constraints, such minimal options suggest a need for acceptance and urgency, or, rejection. You are fatigued, aching, emotionally unstable, depressed, and brain fogged. The question from the office receptionist on the phone is direct and rushed. Your eyes glaze over and you mutter YES to their first option while trying to jot down the date and time mentioned before it is gone. The receptionist hangs up. Minutes, or hours, even days, later, you are reviewing your calendar, and, WHAM, you notice there is a scheduling conflict! Now you must call again, apologize, and try another run through. Can this be made easier AND more pleasant and relevant?
We ALWAYS have at least 7 possible responses to any question.
Culturally, we are conveniently dumbed down to TWO choices.
With only a Yes and a No" we are easy to persuade & manipulate.
The Need for CONTROL is the downside of Authority.
Authority brings us order, peace, simplicity.
It INTENDS to bring us justice & equality.
Like so many other intentions, it Fails.
We forgive because we don't want what we have been taught is the alternative.
Questions. Do we want answers?
COLOURS of Responses.
- Yes, without reservation.
- Yes, if it is what we want.
- No, regardless of what it is.
- No, if it is something not wanted.
- Yes, only if we don't want it.
- No, if it is something wanted.
- Maybe, haven't decided.
The Reality of CFS-ME is not what it used to be for us.
We were sharp, quick, active, movers and communicators for many years.
We could think on the fly and juggle a multitude of options at once.
When we called for appointments we remembered our openings.
We took the reigns and offered THEM a few of our times.
We spoke in friendly cheerful tones they enjoyed.
We made our times and kept our times.
Smooth as silk flowing in the breeze.
What Happened!!!
That IS history.
We take forever to get out of bed and struggle with stairs.
Our brain is so fogged that sometimes we can't speak.
We are getting so used to going by the minute that
A thought of the future seems foreign/confused.
We feel fortunate to get anyone on the phone.
We speak in dazed tones as we try to listen.
The voice on the other end asks if the time is OK.
We don't want to delay them. We mutter YES.
They're gone. We're confused.
Did we do right?
We can do better.
We KNOW that certain times of the day are out, for us.
We KNOW that we have brain fog all too often.
Which days/hours does the doctor take off?
Why are we going? Short statement prepared.
We can check our schedule BEFORE we call.
We can select a few open HOURS in the day.
How much cancellation notice do they need?
We will ask, to confirm, and to make aware.
Yes, we intend to make it, but we are chronically ill.
That is why we will make two appointments for one.
Days apart is much better than months apart.
If something confuses, we can call them back.
NOW, we are ready to jive!
3. Been there, done that !
You have heard the phrase, but what does it tell you?
Is that what you said in the Past when a problem occurred?
If it is, you likely did not get very far.
Why do people say the phrase?
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RITUAL:
Many people say the phrase because they have learned to repeat the response that their peers, relatives, spouse, favorite mentor, or other significant person uses. If it is good enough for them, why not good for me. They aren't complaining, much, so it must work for them. If the people around us use it, it is comfortable, easy, accepting, for us to babble it like a robot. What can be the harm? No big deal. Been there, done that. So what? We may even have acquired the phrase from any of the following 4 sources, independently, or, in combination.
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BELIEF:
A belief is a rationalization which we place our confidence and trust in. We commit to its truth as stable and accurate such that we expect and assume that we can rely on it. There are two common sources of this belief.
Pseudo-science is one source.
That is where persons with poorly exercised discernment accept that all questions have only two values, YES, and NO, and, that every Effect results from a singular Cause. This black-and-white world is very simple and orderly. It is easy to accept when we are rushed, distracted, or, uninterested. This is also favored by the materialistic structures of authority, legality, and many religions. The Reality is that it is a concept that is easily proven incorrect and irrelevant with anything that has life and choice.
New Age principles provide a second source.
There is a concept in some presentations of New Age that states that because time is linear, there can be no repetitions of anything, no coincidences, no representations of identical situations and choices reappearing. If you tried an option and it didn't work yesterday, the same option won't work today either. Been there. If it would work today, it would have worked yesterday. The irrelevancy here is that we are considering real and SIMILAR options and choices and not intellectually abstract and philosophically minute details.
The solutions available to most of us are not unlimited in the NOW.
They are defined by our awareness, resources, access, and creativity. Each of those aspects are capable of change. The demonstrated reality is that those changes are not as fluid as we intellectualize they CAN be. If they were, humanity would have resolved all of its questions and problems long in the past, rather than simply multiplying them. Flipping a switch to turn on a light may not have worked a few minutes ago. It may work now. It may work now because a person completed another circuit which enables this one. Same option. Different time.
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FRUSTRATION:
When we have tried a number of options and found no positive result, it is easy to become tired and angry and just feel like .. exploding. We are rationally and unconsciously looking for an excuse to DO anger, and vent our physical tension that has been building. One way of socially defusing this build-up of emotional steam is to Release. By reaching ANY decision, even a wrong one which we can believe is correct, we take the pressure off to find an answer. Been there, done that! We achieve something. We have acted. The action we have taken is to throw out a possible solution, but that would take humility and calm, and our Ego or SuperEgo is in Control.
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DESPAIR:
When frustration is repeated numerous times and failure keeps erupting in our face, we exhaust our adrenal energies and everything begins to slow down, ready or not. If anyone else is around, we have worn them down to submission and departure for they have had enough of OUR problem. Frustrated, tired, and alone, we have no audience to entertain. We have little energy to act out. We want a timeout. And this option comes to mind to delay us! No time for it. Been there, done that.
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FEAR:
What if I had done something before and it did not work, yet now it does. Did I get it wrong before? Have I wasted all this time, and energy, when the solution was right in front of me? Dare I admit this error to someone else? If I do this now and it works and I don't understand why, will that make me look stupid? Yes, you mention it now. If it works, you will declare: "Why didn't you try THIS?" And, if I say that I did, you will call me a dunce. I am not interested in learning HOW and WHEN the option works. I just want to be Right!
The circle is complete.
Whether I retry it or you try it, and it works, it will look, as if I made a mistake before in not considering it, or, of considering it and using it incorrectly. The only way to win here is to keep YOU out of the decision making. Then, you can't take the credit, and, I don't have to take the blame. No need to try that. Been there, done that. The trauma of failure was enough last time. I don't want to repeat it.
Indication of Failure and Low Self-Esteem.
That is what all of the above reasons for "Been there, done that," signify. You are either in denial of reality, responding to an energy weakness, or, an energy block or intense imprinting are pushing you into surrender. Your Ego or SuperEgo may be taking domination over your responses when you need all your skills and intellect working TOGETHER. Time to face Reality or you may never Recover.
How much can you Do ?
If you are like many persons who have acquired CFS-ME, you have been quite active through much of your past. You have shown determination, drive, stamina. You may have had a decades long history of this form of self-challenging combined competitive and joining in lifestyle. You got used to self-direction, individualism, and trust in yourself ... rather than reliance on others. Now, You've found yourself transported to a Space that is likely foreign and threatening. You have been there many times before. At least, you THOUGHT you had been there. This time is different. ALL those other times, YOU stuck it out, pushed through, found new options, and, won or succeeded. This IS different. YOU are not staying on a Recover track. WHY?
CFS-ME is a sickness state unlike any of your previous experiences.
THIS is a Package of serious illnesses. Few, if any of them, are simple take-a-pill, rest, or add some supplements and herb teas for a week or two recovery realities. THIS time, you either become aware of the Fact that you have many of the Symptoms of CFS-ME, or, you remain in confusion, or, you find some other diagnosis. Look around you. There are tens of thousands of other people who have this Package of illnesses, and, they are NOT recovering! If YOU are going to Recover, you are going to have to do something different than those others.
A lot of options will have to be participated in before you Recover, if you truly have CFS-ME. And, if that diagnosis is correct, you will not be able to plan, schedule, do, and follow through on all of what is optimum for you, without help. That means accepting the humility to admit that YOU can't do all that would be best for you. That means taking the risk to ask others to assist you, and, allowing them to lose your trust, or, earn your Trust. That means, doing an option you may have done before, because that is what is Best for YOU.
4. Getting to the meeting.
You used to simply make appointment and meeting times, confirm them a few days ahead, plan your presentation, attend, interact, enjoy, leave, and continue on. Changes were infrequent and if the other party rearranged, they owed you for the trouble of your having to rebook your time. With CFS-ME, the sorry one is YOU. It seems to happen most of the time. The date is set. You are looking forward to it. You have planned your part. You have booked your transportation. The day arrives. The hour arrives. You can't MOVE! Postpone, cancel, or be dragged there?
You learn a depth of Humility with CFS-ME, or, you hate yourself into the ground.
ACCEPTANCE.
Shame is due when you agree to DO something, and fail.
When a person is healthy, that shame is a recognition of error.
Someone else trusted and believed you, and you didn't show.
From you forgetfulness or distraction, you made others lose.
Their time and expertise is important & you have insulted it.
But that is only if you were healthy.
The Reality is that you are very unwell.
You cannot do better than your best.
You will make plans and arrangements.
If it is healthfully possible, you will be there.
You did not make yourself ill or want to be.
OWNERSHIP.
It is your meeting.
You agreed to the time.
You know the location.
Others have agreed to meet with you.
It will be for your benefit & theirs.
Come rain or shine.
Come wind or snow.
How are you getting there?
Certainly not by walking uphill.
If not to drive, must find a driver.
Cannot wait for public transit
Time to make one's plans.
STRATEGY.
What tactics can I employ.
Not everything is the same always.
I have my questions written at the ready.
I have my research packed just in case.
The doctor wants to know the sources.
Setting out my clothing the night before.
Currency aside for gas & driver's patience
Preparing drink and snack for a journey.
Ensuring that my bath or shower is done.
Then off to bed as early as I dare.
Best to set the clock very early.
Starting slow, will likely go longer.
Call for my ride just to ensure its on the way.
Know what to mix with powdered whey.
No dishes done before one's return later.
Coat around me and hat upon me.
Ready at the door with calm & patience.
There is the bell and out we go.
Closer to Recovery I pray the Way.
Another step taken by the end of the day.
BACK UP.
The mind is a muddle.
What has been forgotten?
I must check my list well.
I must focus with the clock's bell.
Have there been any messages.
Is the clinic silent and attending.
Is my ride cancelled or running?
I have studied so hard. I have waited so long
The day has arrived. I am taking a step.
SUCCESS.
Getting there, this time or next.
It is the plan & effort that counts.
I will not be disappointed as long as there is opportunity.
I got to the meeting on time!
This IS a BIG event.
And I deserve the applause.
I can't jump up and down.
No screaming, yelling or singing.
I can visualize something of Joy.
A moment to remember an event.
And build a party in my honor.
Not everything went my way.
ButI was there.
I DID it!
5. Last minute changes.
Changes do occur.
What can I do as a substitute?
I have made all of this preparation.
I am making an effort to get out of this unhealth!
The Doctor is ill !
What? You don't know they are people also!
Consider. They are around sick people all of the time.
Some things are contagious, like colds, flu, bad feelings.
You won't likely hear this fact openly until much after the reality. It isn't good for business. That is because many people like to fantasize that their therapist or practitioner is a health god who can fix themselves of all ills and know everything about health. You are not one of those. But you do understand the expectation to extend the charade. What would a healthy person do?
- Thank the receptionist for letting you know.
- Express good wishes for their early recovery.
- Ask to reschedule the appointment.
- Call back later if too busy now.
- Hang up.
- Vent to Calm.
- Postpone your transportation.
- Visualize a Positive.
- Rest.
It IS a positive.
Did you really want to see a practitioner who is hacking and coughing and looks like they haven't slept in two days? That would not encourage YOUR system to be healthier. And, how carefully could they be listening? How likely for them to make a mistake with a prescription or misread a test? And, you think you might not be in a good mood! You want better than that. When the doctor is healthier, you will get better treatment than that.
The doctor is delayed.
This can be a catch all phrase for a wide number of incidents. It is unlikely that they just do not want to see you. It is unlikely that the receptionist or nurse hates you. No, YOUR condition is not incidental. Yes, it is frustrating. The world isn't against you as long as you are not against you. Get a grip on reality. Here are a few possibilities.
- There has been an emergency at the clinic.
- They have been called to the hospital.
- Their marriage is breaking down.
- Their vehicle was in an accident.
- Their plane is delayed.
- A family member is ill.
- A family member has died.
- They are short-term burnt out.
- They are ill.
- Something else.
Healthcare is not just about you.
Other people have issues and problems as well.
You really do not want THEIR attention when they are distracted, frustrated, angry .. do you? What are you going to do?
- Thank the receptionist for letting you know.
- Express good wishes for their day.
- Ask to reschedule the appointment.
- Call back later if too busy now.
- Hang up.
- Vent to Calm.
- Postpone your transportation.
- Visualize a Positive.
- Rest.
It IS a positive.
It doesn't feel like a positive.
YOU are going to make it a positive.
Did you really want to insist on making yourself appear to be insensitive, abusive, and ignorant? It is crap that one has to wait so long to get anywhere. Part of that problem is the system of rules and coercive guidelines the practitioners must work under. Another part is the regulations restricting the use of herbs and nutraceuticals. Either you have done something to encourage your politicians to revamp the past mess into something more relevant, or, you have allowed it to get to where it is. It don't get better without YOUR involvement. Check it out.
Your transportation cancelled.
Yes, it can and does happen. Be very appreciative of your driver, even if it is yourself, and the vehicle, even if it is your own, for getting you to your destinations in the Past. The reasons for transportation problems are many. Fortunately, they seldom happen. If you have arranged for someone to take you to the appointment and bring you back, including a taxi, consider these common mishaps, when you receive the message that THEY will have to reshedule, with YOU.
- Were reseheduled for work.
- Suddenly ill.
- Flat tire.
- Was in an accident.
- Needs urgent repair.
- Ran out of gas.
- Forgot.
- Still ill, longer than expected.
- Had a greater emergency.
- Just had a heated argument.
- Received news of a Loss.
- Slept in.
- something else.
Remember, they are doing YOU a favor.
They have likely volunteered to do this for you.
Even if you are paying them, they may not be dependable.
They are also persons and we all experience changes we dislike.
What you have to decide is whether this is a pattern with them, or, an unusual circumstance. Everyone is worthy of benefit until they show a pattern not worth of your respect and trust.
- Thank the driver for letting you know.
- Express good wishes for their day.
- You will recontact them.
- Hang up.
- Vent to Calm.
- Call the practitioner's office.
- Note that you are disappointed.
- You cannot go without transportation.
- What you had arranged, has been cancelled.
- Can they give your appointment to someone else?
- It would be appreciated if they can forgo the late notice charge.
- When can they reschedule you?
- Consider time of day and day of week.
- Set appointment, or, agree to call back.
- Hang up.
- Rest.
Dependability and timeliness are not always traits which you are able to maintain, if you have CFS-ME. You would like to, consciously. Your body is making supreme efforts to keep you alive, whether it needs to or not. You either find out what is bothering it and get it free of that, or, you are not going anywhere fast. Until YOU are Recovered, you are best not to be too demanding with others.
An emergency has come up.
This is not likely a slight against you and your health condition.
It can be any of the above realities. It is as true and relevant as the person is honest, open, and trustworthy that you are hearing it from. If you do not know the person well, there is no benefit in assuming that they are lying or minimizing. What would a happy and health person do? Others like to interact with health and happy persons, even if they just appear to be so.
- Acknowledge to yourself, the driver, the receptionist .. that you have heard.
- What is required of you NOW? Reschedule? Phone call? Participation?
- Will they let you know when it has cleared? Or, you call them?
- Hang up.
- Visualize a positive.
Hang UP!
There is a tendency when we have brain fog, including when we are on the phone, for us to slip into a state of confusion or brain blank. We don't know what to say, feel, or think next. We always knew before. There WERE days when we could have run off a series of phone calls with 15 different people at 12 different companies and set up appointments for business or other reasons that spanned all of 3 days. Every call would meet a different tone, urgency, context, and, .. we wouldn't even skip a beat. We would go through a range of emotions which flowed across the desk like a rainbow. Then we would gather up our things and be out interacting in person and doing our activities with attention and enthusiasm. But, we are not there NOW.
Now, it is a hurdle just to stay conscious, it seems.
There is no sense in our attempting to mimic what we did with good health when we are now semi-comatose part of the time. Make your notes. Prepare mentally. Get on the phone. Do what you planned. Get OFF. Don't let your rational mind drag you into all the possible quicksand pools of what could be, what should be, what wasn't. Don't try to illicit opinions on healthcare or world issues, and, don't try to express your own. They are ALL distractions. At this point, they are.
Stay ON TRACK.
You are too fatigued.
You KNOW this can happen. It happens to most of us when we least expect it as well as many times when it doesn't surprise. You have all the plans made. Your ride is on the way. You are mentally prepared. You have your short list and notes ready. You have your supply of water and snack at hand. You are dressed better than you have been all week. And suddenly, you become so weak. You feel like you are going to collapse. Your mind is blurring. Your emotions are skidding. You know all the things you have tried before in an attempt to pull you out of this sinking. None of them worked then. Time is running out now. You hate to do it. You know it will fail. Pull the plug!
- Call the receptionist and let them know.
- You have had a sudden setback, can't make it in.
- Too weak. Can't breathe. Can't move. Must rest.
- Must reschedule; another day.
- Will call back later.
- Hang up.
- Vent to Calm.
- Postpone your transportation.
- Visualize a Positive.
- Rest.
You won't understand this, unless you really have CFS-ME.
Then, you know that it is better that you be prepared for it and accept it, than to fight it and weaken yourself longer and deeper. You have, or will, learn that you can do your best, but you have to do it when you can. The drama of ambulance and stretchers, or of someone carrying you ... isn't your style ... and if it is, or you make it so, it will make a fool of you. No snap diagnosis is likely to find you in excellent long-term relevant Recovery care. It hasn;t worked for anyone else. Your time WILL come. There WILL be a day when you will make it. It may even be, most days. Being prepared for what Most people with CFS-ME face, often, can only strengthen you.
These will happen if you have CFS-ME.
You are not doing sickness for just a few days or weeks.
Appointment scheduling can mean delays for a month.
For CFS-ME, you statistically have to be down for 6 months.
There is no statistic for how long anyone takes to Recover.
There is no statistic for how many people Recover.
You are not on your own.
You have this assistance. Others DO care.
You also have the assistance of God, if, you accept it.
Better to be prepared, than to self sabotage.
YOU know this.
6. Coping with Insufficiencies.
With CFS-ME, life is composed of insufficiencies.
Our scheduling will fail often unless we Do something.
Is there something we can Do to moderate these?
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Adrenal Insufficiency:
Reduce your cortisol levels by repeating Active Language phrases. Also do your best to release any sense of fear, feelings of hostility, or frustration. Prepare yourself, with caution for the Possibility of a step forward, either by beginning a desired testing procedure or protocol, or, by determining if this person or modality will be helpful to your Recovery.
It is a positive step to offer the opportunity to someone of assisting you if they have the capability to do so. If they signify that they are adverse to that direction and entrenched in their rituals, you know that it is NOW best to move onwards to another facilitator, who may not be as capable, yet, because of their willingness to work WITH you, they will be constructive, and, they may exceed the abilities of your earlier contact. Negativity will make you weaker.
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Water insufficiency:
Do not take anything which is likely to increase your dehydration.
This includes NOT taking any vitamin supplements, for 24 hours, which could encourage heavy metals to enter your blood stream from your cells, and, depress many organ functions. Avoid eating starches and acid forming foods. Also, reduce the intake of fiber as this can increase the binding up of water within the body.
Avoid cleansing herbs in quantities or combinations which could give you diarrhea. Prescription and herbal diuretics are a possible, and often overlooked, contributor to dehydration. Reduce the use of these herbs during the previous 2 days: bilberry, birch, gravel root, hydrangea, juniper, nettle, saw palmetto, and uva ursi plants and herbs. Excessive use of magnesium can encourage diarrhea.
If you have Low Blood Pressure, you might increase your salt intake slightly as this will improve your digestion, help normalize your pH level, reduce your dehydration, raise your blood pressure towards normal, increase your stability of balance, improve your brain function, and, decrease the activity of any resident destructive micro-organizms. Many people who have CFS-ME have a long history of low blood pressure.
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Hormonal Insufficiency:
You really do NOT want to be erratic emotionally and spaced out like you are on some kind of hallucinatory or altered state drug when you go to a meeting or appointment. We KNOW that many artificial sweetners and both the conditions of low blood sugar and high blood sugar can encourage these responses in sensitive people. Attempt to gain and retain a sugar balance in your system for at least 2 days before these social interactions.
Ralph Walton, M.D, Psychiatrist,
Chairman of the Center for Behavioral Medicine, said:
"We have known for years that when aspartame is ingested with a carbohydrate rich meal the usual physiologic increase in tryptophan is blocked, while brain phenylalanine and tyrosine concentrations are increased. These changes in amino acid neurotransmitter precursors could, I believe, alter indolamine/catecholamine balance, and thus have a profound effect on mood and cognition .. depressed mood, anxiety, dizziness, panic attacks, nausea, irritability, impairment of memory and concentration."
Blood Sugar/BALANCE:
Options for achieving/maintaining
- eat smaller meals, more often
- more variation/combination of foods
- more high fiber foods
- frequent activity
- stay warm
- High sugar foods, avoid
- overall calm
- adequate rest
Using either Stevia or Honey is advocated for the nutritional, immunological, energy benefits and a focus on these for as long as possible before visiting a practitioner or facilitator can result in more productive appointments. Read the article on Sugars, before making your Choice.
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Cardiac Insufficiency:
This factor is indicated in many cases of CFS-ME, yet seldom diagnosed.
... "Some CFS/FMS patients may even have found their own symptoms temporarily improving when on incidental antibiotic treatment, say for ear infections and the like, but improvements not lasting." There is a potential for YOUR version of CFS-ME to have a presence of Chlamydia pneumoniae bacteria in your blood, one or more organs, and other cells and fluids. You will not benefit from the Herxheimer symptoms which can accompany your taking of an antibiotic.
If you are currently taking an antibiotic, consider the timing of your appointment relative to that of the ending dose of your prescription. A false positive and irrelevant symptoms would be less likely expressed to your doctor or facilitator is you were not taking antibiotics when you see them, or, you were consciously aware and certain that same was not influencing the intensity of presence of CFS-ME.
"Cardiac infection:
Cpn infects the cardiac system, and is a major culprit being investigated as a source of cardiac disease. Parasitization of cardiac muscle by Chlamydia pneumoniae would reduce heart efficiency and contribute significantly to fatigue. A recent paper found evidence of Cpn throughout myocardium, the heart muscle wall. These infected muscles would presumably be functioning at lower efficiency because of ATP depletion, resulting in a chronic cardiac insufficiency. This is consistent with findings of cardiac insufficiency in CFS patients (see Peckerman).13,14 "
"Glucose disturbance.
Chlamydia pneumoniae steals ATP that requires the host cell to absorb and metabolize more glucose. This disturbs glucose homeostasis. "Hypoglycemic" symptoms (must have food now, worsening of inflammatory and porphyric symptoms when get depleted of glucose or during fasting, etc.) are common in CFS/FMS and are quite notable in those suffering from disseminated Chlamydia pneumoniae infection. Anecdotally, Chlamydia pneumoniae patients on the CAP report significant lessening of episodes of these hypoglycemic symptoms over the course of treatment. "
Cardiac Insufficiency is unlikely to be diagnosed in any degree for you by a medical or holistic doctor, or any alternative health facilitator, UNLESS, they are extremely good at what they do, are willing to work WITH you, live a spartan life devoid of relevant charges for their time and expertise, and, you can and are willing to afford very costly tests and long duration treatment. The CFS-ME person at this point simply is best to arrive at their appointment, or not, with severe heart disease symptoms, only to have them depart before local Emergency tests are run, and, receive a diagnosis that "nothing is wrong!" You want treatment for CFS-ME, not for heart dysfunction.
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Cardiac Insufficiency:
Dr. Paul Cheney considers that a virus enters your system, stimulates RNase-L, an anti-viral enzyme, and this destroys messenger RNA which disrupts protein synthesis in cells. RNase-L stays active too long disrupting protein synthesis everywhere and eventually the liver is affected (has highest protein synthesis rate in the body) and can't detoxify the body. The toxins not only inhibit cell function, they invade and injure the central nervous system, doing damage to brain, spinal chord and hypothalamus. These centers regulate heartbeat, blood pressure, body chemistry, metabolism, in other words, everything. HPA axis is damaged causing hormone imbalances. That is a possibility. Don't freak out!
The reality is that you are going for an appointment with a medical, holistic, or alternative practitioner / health facilitator. If you don't have a diagnosis, yet have discerned through careful self-awareness, study, and self-testing that you may have CFS-ME, YOU must decide BEFORE you go as to what ONE or two steps you want taken. You can note when you arrive that you have planned as best you can so as to arrive as clear minded as possible, and, to arrive.
You thank them, in advance, for their patience in hearing you out. You state that you would like .. a test done, or, a protocol prepared for, based on your previous visits, or, on 4 of your symptoms. Any more than that and their ears will close and their eyes will glaze over as they usually restrict applicants to ONE symptom! Offer more detail, in small chunks, only if they ask.
This will take a good amount of patience, calm, self-control, attention, and brain dynamics on YOUR part just to get that far. It won't happen if you can't get your breath, feel like you are going to sleep, start sliding downhill emotionally, and your brain fogs over. These can ALL happen from just cardiac insufficiency. Here is what you can do to stay strong as long as possible:
- Hawthorn Extract: take before leaving.
- stay warm
- High sugar foods, avoid
- Stimulants: avoid, no coffee
- Avoid: hospital, public transit, restaurants, stores
- Clean: no chemicals or vacuuming
- People: avoid negative ones
- Active language: review
- Spiritual Principles: read any 5
Yes, here it is once more:
Cardiac Insufficiency is unlikely to be diagnosed in any degree for you by a medical or holistic doctor, or any alternative health facilitator, UNLESS, they are extremely good at what they do, are willing to work WITH you, live a spartan life devoid of relevant charges for their time and expertise, and, you can and are willing to afford very costly tests and long duration treatment. The CFS-ME person at this point simply is best to arrive at their appointment, or not, with severe heart disease symptoms, only to have them depart before local Emergency tests are run, and, receive a diagnosis that "nothing is wrong!" You want treatment for CFS-ME, not for heart dysfunction.
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Nutrient insufficiencies:
It is difficult to gain a balance of nutrition when your assimilation is at minimum and your excretion is on dead slow. If you don't get the garbage and toxins out, there will not be any access given to new sources of energy and maintenance. These cannot be corrected overnight. The symptoms which most people with CFS-ME experience do not encourage the best nutritional practices. THEY take time, energy, resources, usually. You have got to conserve as much of your resources while using the least of the best you can acquire quickly. In the day before your appointment, be sure to DO these:
- Fasting: not NOW!
- Sleep: Get enough to reduce tension.
- Drink: energized, filtered, water.
- Eat: fish, vegetables, quality meal replacements.
- Oils: use the most healthful.
- High sugar foods, avoid.
- Breathing: from the abdomen, part of the time.
- Minerals: check for magnesium, zinc, selenium.
On this special day, you will be best served by reducing your toxin intake, toxin generation, and toxin holding. The above will help ensure you get going to your appointment and navigate as best as possible through it.
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Viral attack - Immune deficiency:
There is a possibility that some of your symptoms may be fed by chronically active viruses, and, by the damage they may already have imposed.
Dr. A. Martin Lerner holds U.S. patents for the diagnosis of ME/CFS in the chronic mononucleosis subset of this disease using 24-hour Holter monitoring. He argues that a prominent subset of the disease is a prolonged, chronic mononucleosis following infection with Epstein Barr virus (EBV), Human Cytomegalovirus (HCMV), or both, and/or possibly Human Herpes Virus 6 (HHV-6). Viral infection persists in the heart, causing left-ventricular dysfunction, producing exercise intolerance. Exercise, in turn, worsens the cardiac dysfunction.
Plan to have as few viral outbursts as possible immediately before or on the day of our appointment, meeting, or discussion. It is too close a time for anything requiring long-term intervention to be used here. Here are some short-term immediate options you can use in the days before.
It will not help your treatment or diagnosis to have the symptoms of a viral attack be obvious on the day of your meeting. At best, you will be told to go home and rest. You are not chronically ill. You just have a virus! At worst, some form of cheap viral test will be run on you and an irrelevant resident virus will be found and made the immediate scapegoat for your CFS-ME. Then, you may never be able to convince your practitioner on future appointments that your symptoms are anything but a resurgence of the virus defined before. You may even be given a vaccine which may further weaken your immune system by its biolgical distraction influence. Attempt to attend your medical or health facilitator with as undistracted and "clean" system as you can present.
The above are good advisories for much of the time.
Some are not possible on a daily basis as we may not have the time and energy for all of them. Any degree of socializing will challenge some of them. Fasting is not a good choice for most people with CFS-ME until they have recalibrated their adrenal threshold. If you do the above, you will have a much more constructive appointmnet than if you had not.
A 20/80% System for health Enhancement.
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Find Opportunities.
Huge advances towards YOUR Recovery will often arise out of YOUR discoveries of what is Relevant for YOU. There are MANY options which YOU can begin from these pages, at NO Cost! There are other possibilities of tests that can be taken or treatments tried. Most of all, you will benefit from being able to muscle test or receive accurate Spiritual Guidance to CHOOSE what the rational mind does not understand, the Ego fears, and the SuperEgo is too proud about, yet, is Best, for YOU.
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First Impressions.
Most doctors and health facilitators know nothing about the scientific realities of CFS-ME and even less (if that is possible) about the experience. It is not for you to try and convince them of an alternate reality. Many of those who WILL help, will be stimulated to risk a new option, IF, you are assertive, brief, informed, and direct about WHAT they can do to help you in YOUR Recovery. You are weak, tired, and depressed. The balance you can strike is to be that, yet, press forward calmly with your points written and your references available to leave, if THEY desire.
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Respect returns respect.
Expect your facilitators to be busy with their practices and occupied in living their own lives with their family and friends. The less you expect, the more you may receive. Don't rehash the errors of your past doctors or the ignorance of THEIR professional community. Don't repel them with your fatigue, your distrust, your despair, and your frustration. Their job is to provide answers. Help them to do that within THEIR framework. If their framework is too small or too rigid, ask for, or find, an alternative. You don't own them.
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Everyone is a somebody.
Yes, you will mess up. We are not at our best when we are 10% conscious! Quieten. Reflect. Regroup. Prepare. Apologise. Restart. Define. Propose. Request. Listen. Respond. Don't make it complicated with YOUR fears, desires, beliefs, expectations. Every person is a present. Not all presents are liked or helpful. But most can be.
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Nothing is Certain forever.
Throughout the Recoveries of myself and my wife, there were many changes in option availability and awareness. Some of the most impactful Recovery options were not available anywhere in the world during the first 3 years of our CFS-ME. Others were available at great distances and only became available, briefly, to us, after 5 years. Many others were of great benefit in the hands of skilled and inspired therapists. They were not the most certified. They were not the most well known. They sometimes were people we encouraged. They always were people who cared. Some we could only benefit from for a short period, or, periodically. The same was true for the quality and availability of some supplements, herbals, homeopathic remedies, and, foods. What is today, may not be tomorrow.
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YOU are NOT the World!
If you know where you are going and have a good sense of how to get there, that awareness will keep you from turning around in defeat and despair. Most people with CFS-ME do not have the skills or passion to use the little energy and time they have to do the research to find the answers which are in this work. Most do not have the financial resources and the family or other support to be able to get to and use some of the options which would be most positive in impact for them. And, very few have the Spiritual Guidance or the muscle testing ability to determine WHEN, with WHOM, WHAT, and How Often an option may be Best for THEM. Without that efficiency and effectiveness, Recovery is threatened for many. Now, you have resources, options, and coaching. You will find the Worth of those beyond all cost. The life you save, may be your own.
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