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1. Origins of Stuckness.
Stuckness, Compulsiveness, Rigidity, Authority, Obstinacy, Legalistic are all terms which describe a person or persons who justify their beliefs, commitments, and behaviors according to a rational interpretation or ruling. A person who has an addiction quickly learns, through frequent practice, how to win any rational argument to justify why they continue to perform their addiction, the lie that THEY are in control, and, the rejection of any offer of assistance towards change. Until they have risked or enacted severe physical or emotional harm against themselves or others, and perhaps not then, they will not waver in their righteous excuses.
Energy Blocks and Imprinting are the major contributors to the imposition of or the learning of such Robotic behaviors and expressions of such Mechanical beliefs. It may be an experience of personal terror or a repeated exposure to a fear of significant exclusion or penalty that transports the person into this fantastic sense of reality. For that person, the originating experience(s) and the EXPECTED outcomes are as real as if they had happened. It may even be a reality that the outcome most feared HAS happened to someone else and they have been told this by someone they love and trust, or, have witnessed it in person.
Energy Blocks may be understood and may be released or covered over. Few therapies are successful in fully releasing energy blocks with any degree of efficiency. We have all heard confessions of the anxiety-driven person who has gone to their therapist for decades ... and is still working on their primary issue. There are always unique personal experiences which provide a key to unlocking the shackle commiting a person to such a sentence of CONSISTENCY throughout irrelevant circumstances. It may be a scene in a movie, a book, something someone said to them, a yoga position, a mystical experience, a walk-in, or any number of other particular experiences. Such are often specific to a singular block-driven reaction and to a singular person. Some therapies may have a degree of success with some individuals more than others and according to some issues rather than all.
With over 95% of people having energy blocks, it is to be expected that most of us have some limitations of Choice imposed upon us, not by a devil nor a god, but by our own experiences and those of our parents and their genetic memories. If a person is directed by an obvious one or more energy blocks, yet have no will to address them, no awareness of them, and no resources to afford or find, and no access to someone who can assist them to release these chains ... YOU trying to force them to change is likely to make you their enemy and make them stronger in their pattern. Understanding and compassion can assist them to accept their limitations and work WITH them.
Imprinting does reinforce behaviors and attitudes within us until they become automatic. At the point when you are carrying out actions and uttering responses and are largely unaware of what you are doing, you are DOING acting like a robot. There are some positive patterns that we learn in this way. We learn to tie our shoes. We learn howto use spoons, forks, knives, chopsticks .. to eat. We learn how to understand and speak a language or more. We learn how to read and write one or more languages. We learn basic math functions and tables. Some people learn musical scales. When these are fully imprinted, we act them out with very little or no conscious thought, automatically.
Imprinted behaviors that may sabotage us can include ...
swearing, acting out anger, taking drugs for chronic symptoms, overdoing anything repeatedly, and, confusing our emotional states with our thoughts, allowing ourselves to become overwhelmed by irrelevant facts, repeating Passive Language, assuming despair, expressing Limiting Beliefs, accepting institutionalized limits, allowing ourselves to be controlled by Fear, and, refusing to consider the possibility of Change.
Supremely positive mentoring, a wide and consistent training in coping attitudes and behaviors, a development of unique decision-making skills, and an empathic and assertive awareness and communicating style are not often ALL in our exposure to the educational system, our religious teachings, and our neighborhood and family interactions. We can improve. Knowing what the options are and their significance can motivate us to become stronger and more resilient. Doing so, can assist us to avoid illness, or, cope with it, and, recover from it.
2. Indicators of Stuckness.
Denial, despair, and abuse are all forms of stuckness.
Do any of the following reflect words and phrases that you often mention? Do any of the patterns describe what you are like? Has anyone else ever told you that you had any of the following qualities? Sometimes, what we hear from others can be a projection of a problem or coping skill which they have. With our rational minds and our immature emotions, we are programmed to ignore or make excuses for the negative assessments of others. Such is just so often a form of deception, manipulation, or abuse. Yet, if a number of persons mention the same factors, and especially if it seems like everyone does ... perhaps we should look more closely.
- "Again!"
- anger, frequently
- anxiety/worry --frequent
- compulsive
- habitual
- "I can't!"
- "I have to .."
- "I must ...."
- limiting beliefs
- living in "the pit"
- perfectionist
- projecting reality
- shoulder shrugging
- sighing
- swearing
- "Where is MY problem!?"
A Simple Exercise.
Take a piece of paper and mark on it for a period of a day or two, each of the times you use, display, or do any of the above. Begin by transferring the above list to your piece of paper. Leave a wide margin. Each time you notice one, make a tick beside it. Each time a different person mentions one of them, add two ticks. You are only making one double entry per person. At the end of the period, add up the ticks. If you live in a dense, commercial neighborhood, it will be normal for you to have a few ticks. Less so in a rural area, usually. How many ticks do you have? Is there room for improvement?
IF you Really want to improve or maintain your health, you will ensure that you have as few indicators of Stuckness as possible. Many other pages in this section and in this Package can assist you. You might begin with these:
3. Benefits of Stuckness.
- consistency
- loyalty
- obedience
- safety from abuse
- protection by abuse
- technical competency
- perfectionism
- companionship of losers
- academic acceptance
- predictability
- no challenges
4.
Co-dependency, the downfall.
Rescue is seldom a Reality, in life.
People who are usually rescued receive a brief and intense intervention by someone else, who they often do not know personally. CFS-ME and many other chronic illnesses are very seldom upgraded to full health with this form of Short, Intense, Dramatic intervention. If ANY of the following are present in YOUR life, you are Depending on someone else to make the effort and devote the time to Force YOU to become well, usually so that you can repeat the errors of the Past, or, become subject to such errors, and become ill, again!
- taking orders
- accepting restrictions
- allowing others to control
- losing respect
- inviting deception
- enabling manipulation
- burying one's emotions
- sacrificing one's preferences
- minimizing oneself
- accepting responsibility for the decisions of others
- harming others, for acceptance
- encouraging bullying
- assuming fate & despair
- denying one's dreams
- reacting from fear
Interdependency can be a Huge benefit for YOU.
Having a sincere concern for others and a wish to assist them, even if only to caution and inform them of the disaster factors YOU have become aware of and modified for significant benefit, can often add energy to your Will to survive and to continue contributing to your own well of Recovery and Wellness.
5. Self-sabotage: Getting what you don't want.
If you have been making an effort, and not suceeding, it may be because you are going in the wrong direction, assuming unrealistic beliefs, believing deceptive facts, and expressing statements which signal to others that you are insincere. We are doomed to fail when any of the following are present. It is only a matter of time.
- the responsibility, but not the authority
- the blame, but not the decision
- the work, but not the praise
- the offer, but not the promotion
- the risk, but not the reward
- the promise, but not the delivery
- the solution, but not the recovery
- the bill, but not the respect
Don't waste your energy and your time.
Use the information on these pages, and elsewhere, to improve the outcomes of your consciousness, your efforts, and your requests. For a person with CFS-ME, every hour wasted or lost, can become a perceptual experience of a year longer in illness. With a constructive personal approach, you make every minute count as a positive towards an eventual Recovery, or, a maintained and improved state of health.
5b. Captain or boiler fireman ?
A captain of a ship takes responsibility for its safe and efficient operation. A boiler fireman follows the orders of all those who have positions of authority and have elected to take responsibility for the whole or part of the operations. Our lives are most often a result of the degree of interest we take in them and of the degree of Choice we exercise. If we are only concerned with what others think and perceive, we have little concern or awareness about ourselves. We are not living OUR life. We are living the lives of other people. And, they are making the choices. Those choices are most often going to be about what THEY want for themselves. Just as often, it will be at our expense and our loss. We have no justification to blame them or hold them responsible for the outcomes, for in our looking to them, we have abandoned ourselves and put them in charge.
Captain or seaman/boiler fireman?
Which do you want to be? Not as simple a question as one might think.
The boiler fireman has a simple enough job and few responsibilities.
He shovels the coal into the boiler and ensures that the fire runs.
The coal supply never runs low. He has his meal breaks.
He works according to how fast the boilers are set to burn.
The choices of the seaman are limited.
The shift begins and ends at specific times, always.
It is expected that he will arrive on duty, on time.
Off duty, there are few restrictions on activities.
Like the person in denial, awareness is minimal.
One has great freedom, within, the strict guidelines set by others.
Bad things WILL happen, for us and others.
We have no choice in that.
We accept.
The Captain has major choice.
There is great freedom and few restrictions.
The Captain decides when he will work and when others will work in his absence. He assigns personnel to different posts and ensures that they have the training to do their jobs. Responsibility falls on the Captain for determining the route taken to reach the destination port. How many stops will be made along the way? Where? When? For how long? What speed will the ship travel at? He will need to remain aware, constantly, of the weather conditions, the traffic in the region, the fuel and resources supplies, news received from other ships and contacts.
The Captain has perhaps begun as a seaman and by continually learning new skills and accepting new responsibilities has become more and more capable of assuming greater command of the choices available. If bad things happen to the ship, the crew, or himself ... he has had a Choice in if, why, and when they have occurred. He can learn from such failures and do better in the future; yet, he IS responsible, in part or whole, for the experiences everyone has because of the "bad thing".
Captains have a confidence in their ability to DO good.
They know that much can be done and they have chosen to join in.
They know that bad things can happen and they seek to minimize them.
They take Joy from the experience of helping others be successful.
They are rewarded for their efforts and their good choices.
It is their risk to take Joy and reward by avoiding the bad.
Part of avoiding the bad, they have learned, is to change.
They choose to be ever open to the relevancy of change.
They provide others with the choices they have earned.
They hold apart from those in fear, choices not wanted.
No one chooses to BE a Captain.
You can choose to LEARN to become a Captain.
The Captain also experiences failures and "bad days".
Do you have CFS-ME and are you content to remain ill?
Perhaps being and remaining a boiler fireman is for you.
If you have CFS-ME and want to Recover, you have a Choice.
YOU can choose to use this and other resources to learn.
You CAN become a Captain of your own ship.
6. Recovery, demands Risk.
If you had been where you are best to go, you would not continue to be ill.
An illness state is an indication that you have made one or more errors, that the environment that you are in, and choose to stay in, is toxic, or, that the social and political group that you are part of is either uncaring, ignorant, proud, or self-sabotaging in maintaing the good health of its members. If you want ANY of these to change, you must risk making the Choice to CHANGE to something better.
Risk to:
- have Faith
- build a Better Life
- Change oneself
- challenge the status quo
- innovate new options
- join in/participate in decisions
- find new opportunities
- be patient
Others may help or assist you part or all of the way.
If they are not available, or choose NOT to assist you, or continue to assist you, YOUR health will become the sole responsibility, and the first benefit, to YOU. It is often better to inject new ideas, options, anctions, and attitudes to regain or maintain a healthy life, than to allow decay to slowly deaden you to the possibilities, and the reality.
Make a CHOICE!
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