Balancing Therapy.
Management, Domination, or Anarchy?
SuperEgo Results.
INDEX
Demands of Teamwork.
Self-direction demands that we acknowledge reality.
To know reality is to ...
- make decisions for today leading to tomorrow;
- humbly go where others fear to go for lack of guidance;
- acknowledge that others can do many things better than you;
- appreciate the gifts and limits of your Basic Personality;
- empower your Personal Spirit by deterring and avoiding abuse;
- respect your Reptilian unconscious for its survival concerns;
- reward and discipline your Ego for its assistance;
- caution and plan with your SuperEgo for the long-term;
- give thanks for the guidance of your Higher Self.
Get real, or you will go nowhere fast.
Managing Your SuperEgo.
ONE'S SUPEREGO IS EXPRESSED UNCONSCIOUSLY most of the time.
It is automatic and distant, like a well learned habit.
Teamed with the Reptilian Unconscious, it is expressed as either self-
righteousness, self-denial, selflessness, pride, passivity or aggression. Self-denial can be demonstrated through volunteerism, compassion, forgiveness, charity, courage, heroism. Tremendous evil (destructiveness) or good (constructiveness) can result from SuperEgo contribution to one's efforts.
HUMAN HISTORY & MYTH are filled with examples of SuperEgo domination of individuals which has been interpreted as positive and mentoring. There is no requirement to duplicate that here. You can find it in any racial or national history; in any review of cultural myths. It is by acknowledging both sides of the equation that we can reach a fuller appreciation for and understanding of our SuperEgo.
AT WORST, a very strong SuperEgo can control our choices according to what we have learned --- "should" --- bring us social acceptance and self-redemption. Persons so motivated are often publicly acknowledged for their physical sacrifice in the service of the status quo. It is as if the person can only view the purpose of their life and its success by how much benefit they can bring to others, or, by how closely they can fit the ideal preached by the group or society.
A CONTINUUM OF EXPRESSION is possible --- from apparent self-denial for self-benefit --- to total self-denial and benefit to others --- to self-denial for deferred self-benefit based on benefit to others. Obviously, mass societies survive by inducing strong SuperEgo development. Without pride, there would be no authority structures, loyalty, nationalism, legal system, foreign aid, imperialism, wars. Whichever group(s) you are a member of, you are either supporting the status quo (common standards) of that group, or, you are rebelling against it and trying to introduce change. You are seldom allowed to opt out. Few participants rebel. The sanctions are too high for many: avoidance, anger, degradation, gossip, separation, restriction, excommunication, banishment, imprisonment, torture, death.
SUPEREGO DOMINATION can rule our decisions while we have energy blocks and can become dominant when we do not have a strong Personal Spirit managing our identity. The Human weakness here is a conflict of values between the spiritual and the physical/social. EGOs are totally fixated on personal physical survival. SUPEREGOs are fixated on group acceptance for longer-term physical survival. Our UNCONSCIOUS doesn't have values; it just follows procedures. Our Personal Spirit will only manage our identity team when each identity component recognizes the value of it as a leader, and, as a potential recipient of guidance from one's Higher Self. In a fully integrated identity TEAM, all participants know that their best hope for longevity and overall benefit rests with such wisdom.
WE ARE NOT ROBOTS.
If we were we would have no need or access to spiritual guidance, abstract reasoning, religion, faith, values, or emotions. The Messenger/Communication link between God and our Identity --- one's Higher Self --- does not contribute unless and until we ask. As a spiritual GUIDE, it does not interfere, demand, or force. Some religions define the advent of consciousness as Humanity wanting to make its own choices and take responsibility for its actions, so God gave humanity CHOICE. We have been proving how deficient we are ever since.
OUR PERSONAL SPIRIT is spiritual in nature.
It cannot assume dominance, be aggressive, control, manipulate, or deceive. It is the part of us which is the spark of life and the bridge to eternity. Like many a good manager, it co-ordinates actions for the prosperity of the TEAM based upon the intelligence made available to it by one's "employer". Spiritually, each of us is on the Earth to carry out a personal mission to the glory of God and a harmonization of the world. Our Basic Personality comprises the exact capabilities for us to carry out such a mission.
IF THE TEAM ARE WILLING to work together, only then will they accept and can our Personal Spirit become the team manager. Rebellion and disharmony are always potential lurking evils. Yet the longer one has the benefits of a spiritually directed lifestyle, the more such becomes appreciated and valued. Many religions and spiritual practices talk of humility and reverence. Few actually bear out the talk with action to mentor their followers. When was the last time you were encouraged and supported by the majority of your membership group for suggesting that group resources be utilized to help feed clothe and employ the poor and homeless in the neighbourhood rather than send the same resources far away to a country your nation just participated in bombing into ruin?
A Personal Example.
I grew up in a Canadian rural area. I attended a one-room school, worked in a largely solitary, independent fashion on a farm, and attended church every Sunday. As a child, my exposure to others and the interaction necessary to broaden my experience and temper my SuperEgo were minimal. Early experiences and accumulated energy blocks provided me with a strong need for acceptance. By age 10, I had about 150 energy blocks ... a critical level.
MOST CHILDREN SEEK PEER ACCEPTANCE.
I was no different. One afternoon, an older boy and his sister (both about age 14) suggested that they, myself, and a girl of my age play like their parents did. We were all naive. There was no sex education available from any source at the time other than through gossip --- so we did not know what sex was and what it was not. On our way home, the four of us went into the privacy and shelter of the hollow rounded end of a large hedge. As Sitka and his sister explained, their parents had great fun by touching their private parts together.
IMPRINTING is what we term the desire of children to mirror the behavior of their parents. Wanting to experiment at being like adults, we shyly partly undressed. With a great amount of embarrassment and giggling, Sitka and his sister did something and the girl of my age and I touched together for a second or two. The excitement was generated more by the confusion, novelty, and embarrassment than anything else. Then disaster. The neighbor who owned the property had heard our giggling and was approaching and demanding in a loud voice as to what was going on. Hurriedly, we left the hedge ... still doing up our clothing ... and ran off.
GOSSIP OFTEN TURNS REALITY INTO A LIE.
Observers often see what they expect, what they are afraid of, or, what they would like to see. Since gossip is a half truth that is shared among many --- every time the story is told, the story-teller is encouraged to add color and drama. Soon, everyone in the school, nearby neighborhood, and then "distant" village --- believed that they knew the story. We had been having sex! Everyone started looking at us with strange stares. Peers glared at me disapprovingly or giggled and looked away. Some peers wanted to be my friend ... to be in on the secret. Others, avoided me without explanation. I was confused. Was playfulness so wrong?
READING and LEARNING were encouraged by my solitary rural lifestyle and my Basic Personality. There were few fiction books available for me. Reading became an experience of reality. Encyclopedias, a dictionary and the Bible were my staples. Each were SuperEgo mentors. They taught me what was and what should be. With a strong need for acceptance, I read the Bible extensively. Acceptance by God became a supreme guideline for my life. Acceptance by humans had proved to be unpredictable and confusing.
AN OLD TESTAMENT PASSAGE of the Bible clearly stated that persons who had sexual involvement and were unmarried were to be executed. At age 8, the parts of this confusing puzzle of experience quickly solidified. I had committed a crime for which I "should" die. And, being the well intentioned person that I was, it was only right and courageous that I carry out the sanction of death.
LIFE CAN BE TERRIBLY SIMPLE AND HARSH when you are young, inexperienced, shy, and socially inept. Few of my peers had close friends as one was isolated away from the community with one's family most of the time. My parents were always busy and never had a practice of speaking one to one with myself or my sisters. With no one to trust to share a confusing and devastating experience with, one typically relies upon the guidance of one's SuperEgo. My SuperEgo took full responsibility for my salvation.
NO SIMILAR EXPERIENCE seemed to have happened in the neighborhood. New decisions had to be made, and my strong SuperEgo would do what it believed the community wanted. There was no example of how such an evil as sexual involvement while unmarried would be punished. I had never heard of anyone being executed. One decision was certain. I was guilty. Everyone said I was guilty. If "everyone" says so, that is the law of the SuperEgo. I could only redeem myself by accepting the verdict: death. So, one afternoon, I took a knife to my bedroom and resolved to carry out the execution myself. I held the point strongly against my chest and tried to thrust it in. But no matter how hard I tried, I could not. Now I felt ever more worse. I was a coward!
HATRED IS ANGER INTENSIFIED.
Every time we repeat a memory of hurt and pain, the stronger it becomes as a destructive motivating force. Particularly when the pain seems unfair or unjustified --- confusion encourages us to relive it again and again in an effort to find some way of understanding it or resolving it. Our Ego feels anger, expresses it, and lets it go. SuperEgos are different. They KNOW that there is an answer for every question; a right for every wrong. Isn't that what keeps society in harmony ? For the next 5 years after the above "incident" my social, emotional and spiritual life were frustrated by the intrusion of gossip. And self-hate grew.
TRUTH FOR THE SUPEREGO is what others tell it.
It is what the status quo majority demonstrate is acceptable. Once, while visiting the nearby village, a slightly older boy from the "bad" side made a point of attempting to befriend me. He approached, we spoke, he expressed great respect at my having done "it", and queried me on what "it" was like. His desire to be my friend intensified my shame and self-hate. I left him as quickly and politely as I could. I felt sick, revulsed --- by his invitation of friendship and the suggestion of what a terrible person that confirmed I must be.
SOCIETY SHAPES OUR SUPEREGO.
The more consistent the behavior of our society is, the more our SuperEgo takes that to be the truth. When I became friends with a girl on the school bus that was favored by a friend, he promptly and in hushed tones informed her of why she should avoid me. Having friends became a danger. They could be turned against me easily. So, I hated myself with more passion and became more solitary.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE TRUTH BECOMES A LIE ?
When I was about 16 years old, I ordered a book by mail order called "The Encyclopedia of Sex." I might as well know more about this evil I had been convicted of. The book was a revelation. Most of what was in it I would later find most people in my neighborhood did not know ... including my parents. For the first time, I came to understand the structure and operation of male and female genitals, birth control methods, and a doctor's description of the functional process of sexual intercourse. I was stunned. I found out that an erection and penetration were necessary for intercourse. I had not had an erotic erection until at least 3 years after the incident. And there had been no penetration. And obviously no ejaculation. There had been no sexual intercourse!
RAGE is HATRED READY TO EXPLODE.
I felt rage. I had wrongly hated myself enough to try and commit suicide. I had been hated by a whole community for something I had not done. Many times each day for more than five years, self-hatred had burned away at my insides. For more than five years, persons I thought were friends had betrayed me. For as long, persons I had wanted to be friends with had first accepted me, and then, abruptly, avoided me. Everyone had seemed to be whispering behind stern stares and conceited giggles. Even my sister had believed the rumours. All that hate for myself was now reversed. I had a rage against the neighborhood. A quiet rage. My background and energy blocks had left me a passive, shy, bookish person. My rage would respond accordingly.
RAGE ONLY HAS ONE TARGET: EVERYONE !
Anyone who represents the group responsible for the injustice, becomes a target. Long before the movie "First Blood", I had the feelings and the wish to destroy ... not just a man, but a whole town. I used my intellectual and analytical skills to sift through dictionaries and encyclopedias and learn about every form of explosive I could and as much as possible about how to make them.
A GIFT CAN CHANGE IN VALUE according to perception.
My father had given me a gift of a rifle when I was about 8 years old. Such is perfectly normal for a farmer's son. There are wild animals which destroy crops, make holes in the ground which can break machinery, and which can attack livestock. A gun can reduce their numbers and limit the extensiveness of the damage they contribute to. I had hated the thought of killing then. I had cried at the time for such an unwanted present. Several years later, I had sold it.
PERCEPTIONS OFTEN FOLLOW FEELINGS.
Now, my feelings were reversed. I bought a rifle, to kill.
The difficulty with rage as an emotion is that it seeks to resolve intense pain by inflicting pain. Yet no matter how much pain is inflicted, it will never remove the memory of the original pain. Rage, as a SuperEgo emotion, has no respect for one's Ego or Personal Spirit. Personal survival is not even in the equation for consideration. And if one feels damned already, one already is in hell. For the rage-dominated person, revenge is vindication. It is a setting correct the equation which the SuperEgo must have. Unwanted and undesired abuse is returned to what is perceived to be the source.
SUPEREGO RESPONSES CAN BE COMPLICATED and CONTRADICTORY.
Ego responses are usually simplistic, some say juvenile.
What happens when the values expressed by the community are at odds with its actions ?
My strong SuperEgo beliefs about God and my religion produced as great an intensity of guilt as there were intense feelings of rage. My SuperEgo had provided me with extreme and potentially destructive power. I was literally on the edge of becoming a mass murderer. My Ego basked in the power which the failure of my SuperEgo had conferred to it. There were times when I was practically in ecstasy visualizing the carnage payback that I could make real. But while payback could be rationalized as "justice", my Personal Spirit was strong enough to demand compassion and remind my SuperEgo that violence and killing of "others" was "wrong". My rage left me obsessed with vengeance. My compassion left be compulsive about non-violence.
I had a big problem.
EXTREMES, intolerance, inflexibility, intensity, commitment --- these are all features of the SuperEgo ... and often of energy blocks. What happens when two powerful forces oppose each other. One surrenders. One becomes destroyed. A composite result? Tremendous anxiety, instability, nervous breakdown, "split-personality" could all have become "composite" alternatives here. They did not. Once again, my intensely strong SuperEgo came to the rescue of all of the "others". I became terribly afraid that sometime soon I would lose "control" and kill. And I knew, in my heart --- my Personal Spirit, I knew ... that once it began, it would not stop until I was stopped --- dead. So I had to stop myself.
SUPEREGOs ALWAYS SEEK TO PROTECT the common good.
Mine was no different. The only way to prevent this mass murder rampage was to execute the killer before he killed. There were no social service agencies at the time. Ministers and parents were uninformed, unassertive, and had poor listening skills. There was no such thing as psychiatric wards and the distant hospital was unknown to me to have anything to offer. There were no friends or confidants or mentors. They had all been taken away from me. So I had to be the solution to the problem which was me!
The strong independence of my Basic Personality contributed its part. This "solution" had to be a solitary one. I was the one responsible. I was the one whose duty it was to resolve the problem. This was a closed world. My Basic Personality factors of intellect and analytical ability would now be put to work on the side of the executioner, even as they had been employed on the side of the would-be murderer. My energy blocks wanted the "job" done with perfection --- clean, quick, quietly, unobtrusively. I did not want to "disturb" anyone with my execution so I made a silencer to fit on the end of my rifle. I got the construction details from a mail-order book. I did not have all of the correct ingredients so the result was a little off.
GOOD INTENTIONS DO NOT GUARANTEE A GOOD RESULT.
One dark night, while the rest of the family were away, I decided the time had come. My "duty" would be done. I would be dead and my death would be quiet. My life would end here. The community would be safe. Whatever came after was of no concern to me.
Commitment, self confidence and public norms are no confirmation of spiritual correctness. What many persons dominated by their SuperEgo never become aware of is that it does not matter how hard you follow the dictates of humanly derived status quo rules --- there is no guarantee of status quo acceptance or success. Billions of people do "their best" by the standards of their society and still end up frustrated, poor, unemployed, starving, lonely, depressed, sick. What the SuperEgo-driven person fails to recognize is that these standards are set and enforced by people, not God. They may be promoted by either or all of church, school, team, business --- AS IF --- they are edicts from God.
IF WE CHOOSE TO FOLLOW man-made-into-god we should expect disaster for us and others. It is not God's fault or choice that we choose to foul our environment, overpopulate, or spend 1000 times more on armaments than on food. God's guidance is personal and is only available to us directly by way of our Higher Self. Unfortunately, at age 16, I did not know of or have that guidance.
THE SUPEREGO is an OMBUDSMAN, a protector of society.
Back to that dark night. I loaded the rifle, affixed the silencer and went out into the darkness. Living where I was, I could easily choose a direction and fire a shot for half a mile and hit nothing. And there were no strangers or neighbors around in my target direction that night. For a test of the silencer's efficiency, I decided to take a test shot, downhill, at a small forest located about 300 yards away. If the silencer worked, the next bullet would be for me.
I pulled the trigger ... and the report sounded like a tank canon being fired. The echo came back ... several times. The design was wrong! The result had actually become a sound magnifier! This would never do. Now, I could not commit suicide because it would be too noisy. I had inadvertently locked the door behind me and now I had to get secretly back into the house before my parents returned so everything would be "normal."
PREVENTION OF GREAT SHAME and embarrassment now consumed my energies with frantically getting into our house without breaking anything or leaving any sign. For 20 minutes I forced myself to use all of my strength, innovativeness, and intelligence to get back into that house I had never considered returning to. The trauma of that near panic effort in the dark with the seconds ticking by changed the equation of my identity by leaving me with another energy block. I had to put all of my energies into staying alive. There was no time for thoughts or feelings of vengeance or rage or salvation. I got into the house.
The picture returned to "normal".
My parents returned home ten minutes later. And for many years, the new energy block would hide the memories associated with rage and social protection. A dramatic change also happened to my Personal Spirit that evening on the verge of death. I would neither realize nor understand its significance for decades.
What can be learned from this REAL example.
- SuperEgo expression is often unconscious and distant;
- A continuum of expression is possible;
- SuperEgo domination can rule our decisions;
- God does not direct our every action and make us robots;
- Gossip often turns reality into a lie;
- Hatred is anger intensified by re-memory of hurt and pain;
- Truth for the SuperEgo is what others tell you;
- Learning and Truth sometimes proves the status quo wrong;
- Rage is hatred coupled with injustice and betrayal;
- Contradictory SuperEgo responses can be generated;
- SuperEgos believe they know what is the common good;
- Good intentions do not guarantee a good result;
- SuperEgos favor action to resolve social problems;
- Trauma can produce energy blocks and change behavior.
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