RED CHESTNUT relates to the soul qualities of Love of One's Neighbor.

Persons who help others to become increasingly independent, self-confident, and self-directed are often examples of Positive Red Chestnut types. As good mentors, they recognize which skills and points of awareness are of most practical benefit and most relevant for the maturity of the person or group they have concern for. They will often have a personal and passionate relationship to another person as parent-child, spouse-spouse, nurse-patient, teacher-student, mentor-initiate, professional-trainee. They are adept in their skills, enthusiastic about the benefits of such knowledge, and, joyful in sharing those skills and awareness with others who become interested.

Persons who protest too much and often have their concerns understood as over-dramatic, insincere, and tragically paranoid are examples of negative Red Chestnut. Here, the person has often experienced abandonment by a parent or other significant person who has encouraged denial within them by statements defining that abandonment as love. Personal tasks are done for and cautions are imposed on others who are able to carry out the tasks themselves and who are not demonstrating any behaviors of recklessness. This removal of freedom and encouragement of co-dependency conveys feelings of distrust and disrespect to the targetted person.

The critical error of the person in the negative Red Chestnut state is that they are using their mental plane of rationality to project on others reasons for concern. It is not that these concerns are legitimate but rather that concerns MUST be found so that one's interference can be justified. Just like we can use our conscious mind to find an excuse to avoid every responsibility, to justify every irresponsibility, and to explain away every ignorance -- so, in this case the opposite is true. The negative Red Chestnut person constantly rationalizes every possible irresponsibility and weakness of others into existence.

This doom saying creates the perfect circumstance for the negative Red Chestnut person to come to the rescue of their target person. They will make the life of the other person a luxury, and then, they will take credit for it. In other words, they have been prevented from running their own life earlier and prevented from taking credit for anything that has benefited them. Excluded from acknowledgement of the actions they could take in their own life, they seek for acknowledgement for what they can do in the lives of others.

Addictive behaviors encourage others who are involved in them, or drawn into them, to believe that something fundamentally destructive is acceptable and beneficial in the short-term. The defensive protest given by negative Red Chestnut persons that these over-protective actions are being done out of love --- often leave unprepared and unassertive persons feeling that if they reject the unwanted attentions, and seemingly good intentions, of the dominant person -- they are rejecting caring and love.

Like all addictions, there is manipulation and deception here. There is deception that a person can be best protected by having someone else provide all the decision-making and protection. Yet this prevents the individual from ever developing the awareness, self-discipline, and skills to look after themselves. The manipulative tactic is the use of the word "love" to demand acceptance for the removal of freedom of choice from and denial of trust in the target person.

The destructiveness of the negative Red Chestnut state arises from the overcompensation of a person who desperately wants acceptance, acknowledgement, respect, trust, and love. They react against a deficient past by imposing on others in the present what they would like to have received: caring. When this caring is not readily acknowledged, there are further feelings (projected) of abandonment -- even to the point of rejection. With the intent of making others acknowledge oneself, the volume, frequency, and degree of interference is increased.

"If you did not see that I did these great things for you, I will do more until I do get your attention and acknowledgement". "If you do not understand the significance of my sacrifice, I will tell you". You MUST see it my way for only then will you give me the love I want! The tragedy of this equation is that love cannot be demanded, coerced, shamed, or withheld as penalty. ALL of these tactics usually result in encouraging an increasingly continual dislike of you -- which can increase to hatred.

Imprinted negative Red Chestnut behaviors have often encouraged and led to the development of co-dependent stressful relationships. The dominant person continually strives unsuccessfully to receive love by taking responsibility and toxic shame for other people. The target person continually experiences a loss of freedom and a denial of equality and loses self-esteem by being made to feel helpless and needy, fearful and uncertain. These attitudes frequently result in the realization of the dangers which the dominant person continually warns of, or, the total emotional, and sometimes physical security, reliance of the target person on the dominant one. Women who are afraid because they expect to be raped will attract rapists who seek out women who appear to be fearful and weak. Children who cannot do any of many skills will continue not to be able to do them by never trying and never learning the skills which their parent withholds such opportunities from. Reality denied cannot be learned to be coped with.

Rejection, exclusion, and rebellion are alternate reactions to a negative Red Chestnut character. For the positive self-esteem individual, the assertive person, and the strong Ego (Personal values) character the dominant negative Red Chestnut person will often loose contact quickly. Such persons refuse to be disrespected, distrusted, and imposed upon. This takes away from the love starved negative Red Chestnut person those persons who are most capable of offering them sincere and shared love.

Those who remain in the relationship will likely have been weakened by the trauma of energy block creation and imprinting imposed within a tight family structure. They will take the benefits, deny themselves, and endure. Future changes towards greater awareness, responsibility, self-directedness, self-confidence --- maturity --- are difficult for either dependent party to undertake. The dominant participant remains dependent upon a target on which to impose attention. The passive participant remains dependent upon a source from which to receive attention. Neither like the result yet are addicted to the illusion that without these sacrifices they will not be loved.

Extracting oneself out of a negative Red Chestnut relationship is often traumatic due to the length of the bond and the intensity of the belief each has in the illusory closeness and benefits of it. It is often the dominant participant who must leave the environment and develop their own self-awareness, and self-respect in a closely mentored and assertively supported community, or new relationship. Particularly at first, this adaptation will require considerable personal growth in which self-restraint and self-respect will need to be balanced. Time will often have to be allowed for the familiar and long-lived patterns to be reframed into more constructive ones which become learned through frequent application with others who can balance encouragement and forgiveness. Energy block patterns can be released and lose their influence immediately or quickly. Imprinted patterns have been more consciously reinforced and so must now be similarly replaced.

The critical reference point of the Positive Red Chestnut person is their Heart. They listen with their heart to the requests, comments, complaints, confessions, desires, and plans of other people. They hear the special and important differences in tone of voice, intensity of expression, repetitiveness, openness and honesty of others. If others express concern about a subject or task they have experience in, their interest is raised. If the discussion reveals that there are ways in which the positive Red Chestnut person could assist the self-directed person, he/she is quick to offer assistance with an introduction of why they are interested (their experience) and what they could contribute (skills and knowledge).

Please note that the Positive Red Chestnut person did not THINK that the other person SHOULD accept assistance from them. Rather, they were non-verbally involved long enough beforehand to have overheard the reality and concern of the other person so they could emotionally assess if this was a situation they FELT they could provide a benefit to and could assess if this was a person whom they FELT they could communicate and work with. Their offer was from the HEART. Its relevancy was that one's energies and skills could be used to ASSIST another person in a joint effort in which success was positively indicated by their RAPPORT and commonly held goal.

A great benefit to others and a great return of love to oneself can be realized through the Positive Red Chestnut perspective. Most people in the world, regardless of age, would benefit from encouragement to improve their abilities of awareness, perception, communication, and other forms of joining in. Each person who learns to respect and acknowledge another person encourages that second person to share this respect and acknowledgement with still others. We feel loved and are loved when others honestly and openly communicate with us what they appreciate and like of our personal presence.